WINNING OR LOSING?
HOW TO WIN WHEN YOU FAIL
EPISODE 95 of a Daily Dose of Greatness Quest with Trevor Crane
SUMMARY & INTRO TO THE SHOW
Tell the TRUTH…
Are you HAPPY when you win?
And SAD when you lose?
Do you go on an EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER, depending on your “environment?” And the WINS and LOSSES all around you?
HAPPY to make the sale?
SAD to lose it?
Today we’re going to talk about, “How WIN when you FAIL!”
“DID I HEAR YOU RIGHT?”
I said how to WIN when you FAIL!
There’s only 2 stories you’ll ever tell:
1. Why you “failed.”
2. How you “succeeded.”
When you change your story, you will change your life.
Enjoy today’s show.
“The greatest gifts don’t come wrapped in shiny paper.” – Trevor Crane
“When you change your story, you change your life.” – Trevor Crane
Are you HAPPY when you win?
And SAD when you lose?
Think back on a time in your life when something really bad happened. Something that upset you so much you felt like it was the worst thing in the world.
And find a gift in it. Find something that set you up for some strength that it gave you inside that was actually a magical, delicious, amazing gift from God. That was one of your greatest gifts you’ve ever received that you can now look back on and recognize as a transformative moment in your life.
Write it down in a journal and share it with others. Share that story with somebody that you care and that you love and pay this forward, pay forward the gift and the realization in your own story.
HERE’S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO NEXT:
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Are you a winner? Or are you a loser? Are you somebody who fails? Are you someone who succeeds? And how can you turn a failure? Because we’re all gonna have them into a win. You might have heard this stuff before but you’re going to hear from a different perspective about how to make that shift.
I know you’re gonna love the show.
(INTRO – AUDIO)
Okay, so when I was a little kid, my dad used to say to get me to do anything. It was always a race. I don’t know if this was the same thing for you. It certainly has been for my daughter. Like am I want her to do something, I’m like, “on your marks, get set, go!” And we race. And I played this game with kids all the time. But I think that adults are just be kids.
And I don’t know about you, but I like to win when I was at the singles bar. And I was trying to pick up the chick. I liked it when they said, “Yes”. I didn’t like it when they said “No.” By the way, I don’t know if I ever really successfully picked anybody up at the singles bar. But when I played sports, I love to to win. Who the hell doesn’t love to win? Like I love winning in soccer. I would do just about anything. When I was playing a team sport. I would like try. I would die over my life on the line to try to make sure that we won.
But let’s face it, there’s a significant amount of times in life when we fail. And what’s the adult sport of choice? I mean, I think today it’s entrepreneurship and are you winning or you lose it in entrepreneurship, are you winning? Are you losing when you’re making a sale?
Now in the past, I used to get happy when I won and sad when I lost is to celebrate when I won. Yay. Look at me. I just came first place. Our team just got first place. We beat the other team. When I got when I got a sale. I’m talking to a client. And I’m like, Yay, they bought my thing, whether I was selling an energy drink, which I sold for a while. So millions of dollars of energy, drink and dollar at a time if you believe that it was a healthy energy drink with a network marketing company. And I would get happy when we weren’t happy when I was the desk and sad when somebody didn’t want to buy my product or join my business.
And then I did the same thing in sports. And it’s the same thing. When I started selling my own coaching and consulting I did the same thing. When I sold water sports and parasailing Yay. They bought a they bought something from me. No, they didn’t. But what a drama of an emotional roller coaster.
And so it took me a while to learn that I could start to transform the meaning of what it meant to fail. Because here’s what I found. Sometimes I would get lucky and make a sale. Or I’d win the game. It didn’t necessarily mean I was playing at my top.
I’m sure you probably played a game sometime in one when you weren’t playing at your best. And yet we celebrate. And we party. I know that after a rig when we party and when we’re adults. We party with alcohol typically. And what happens we get drunk. We’re all proud of ourselves. We pat ourselves on the back. Yeah, man. I did. I got that sale. Look at me. I’m so cool. Look at my amazing process. This product is awesome. I am awesome. Let’s celebrate. Cheers to me. And that is a win. So here’s what happened though, is then you get drunk.
A buddy of mine when I was running track in high school was the fastest white guy in Arizona name was Jim Howard. And then this kid was lickety split fast. Holy cow. I mean, he just killed it. He was a good friend of mine and we ran we ran track together and I was fast but he was like Greased Lightning he was seriously fast.
And after he won our state competition I mean he just went up his game no matter who he raced against he won against the fastest kid in the state at that stage and he went to nationals and he was so confident so proud and so happy about what he was doing this son of a set sabotage his success massively.
He went out he was on full ride athletic scholarships because he done so well in track and field and they wanted to play football they want it mean if if you were if you are a coach in college you wanted this kid to come play for your team like he just looked like he was unstoppable except you stop themselves by going out and getting party and and getting drunk the night before nationals and he came in last place.
When we party, when we succeed, we tend to party. And I’ve said this before on another podcast, but I think it’s relevant to bring back up here. When you fail, seeing the past I used to get depressed on. What’s wrong with me? Why did I fail?
But here’s what happens when we when we fail, and you’re going to fail at a million things in life. My daughter doesn’t like to try any new sports because she doesn’t want to learn anything new or she doesn’t want to be. That’s not true. She doesn’t want to be bad at the new thing that she starts. So she’s she.
We just went wakeboarding for the first time with some of her girlfriends. And the other two girls want game went first. And second, my daughter was hesitant. She went last. She was scared. She wasn’t going to be as good as the other kids. And she did really well. So guess what? She wants to do more wakeboarding. She’s like, Oh my God, that’s the greatest thing in the world. Now, she was scared to death to do it. But then because she found that she had a natural aptitude or she just got lucky. She’s thinking,, this is my sport.
And you know, adults do this all the time. We are scared of sales. We’re scared of marketing. We’re scared of generating leads. We’re scared of calling somebody on the phone. We’re scared to put our necks out there. We’re scared to set the big goal. We’re scared. We’re scared of that failure.
And the challenge with that is that we don’t push yourself to our biggest, our biggest greatness. I believe that our greatest gifts lie in our greatest gifts are not given to us wrapped in paper. Our greatest gifts are given to us, oftentimes with the challenges we face, the hardships that we go up against the failures that we have, when you fail, you have two choices. You can get upset when you get in. No, you can get upset when you don’t get the job. You can get mad and upset and mad and whatever it is for you.
Or it could be the worst thing in the world. You know, something happens and it’s bad. You’re the one that gives it that title your site. This happened and it means that it was bad. This happens and it means I suck. I felt the bankruptcy and it means I’m a loser. These things happen. They happen to me, you know, and they will happen to you. You are going to have bad things happen and you can go ahead and say that is bad.
Or you can say this is a this is great. And I know that this is hard is potentially. My daughter told me the other day I’m not like you dad or daddy daddy, I’m not like you daddy. I just can’t see the good in everything. Sometimes I’m just upset. And it was like, Well, I certainly get upset. But what I’ve trained my brain to do is six is to party and succeed when I fail.
Now, I saw a talk from by Donald Trump one time and this is pre in being president is when he was giving a big talk at him in front of 10,000 people or 20,000 people at a real estate convention. And he went off to talk about success. One of the first things he said to the audience was very polarizing. I thought, he’s very charismatic guy and gave a great presentation. But he basically called out the whole audience and he said, most of you will not succeed.
And he did it with much more gravitas than that and you know, it was there was a bit of attitude. No Trump attitude with it. But he accused the audience of being basically slackers. And they will try and they will dabble. And they will fail. And then they’ll quit. And that the ones that will succeed are only ones that will push through that.
Now when I heard his presentation, I thought, you know what he’s not he’s not clearly defining success in this case, like to make a billion dollars in real estate. He’s probably right. But everybody in that room can choose to succeed and be a phenomenal mother, a phenomenal father to succeed at being a great friend, a son, a daughter, you know, it doesn’t mean that they have to win and be successful in business, they can still be successful in life in other areas.
But I also agree with absolutely the frame that most people just give up and quit. And so what I trained myself to do, there was a book I read years ago called go for know and it helped me transform my my, my sales process and the meaning that I gave the YES and the meaning that I gave for NO. And the outcome was to go for as many No’s as you can and celebrate them and be excited for them. Because if you went through enough No’s you would definitely find the Yes’s. But too often times we tend to party when we get the Yes.
So are you winning? Or are you losing? Sometimes when you’re losing is the best setup for your success, who I have become through the greatest challenges I have ever had, has been a bigger win for me than any of the successes that I’ve had. Because like I said, I don’t know about you. But when I when I’m so proud of myself, I pat myself on the back. And I don’t necessarily consider those things that I need to do to improve.
Sometimes when I’m working with my clients and help them with their marketing. I help them generate more leads. I help them create more sales. I help them stop chasing clients and have clients come to them with the positioning of the authority that they get when they publish a phenomenal book, not a piece of book that you do in a weekend and you can write a great book and weekend.
I’m not saying that you can’t, but most people don’t put the thought into it to create a phenomenal product that they’re proud of. That actually helps people. They put together some kind of piece of that they publish. And then they know it’s a piece of. And they talked to people like it’s a piece of and people treat them like it’s a piece of and then they had something I didn’t know I wasn’t a piece of that much, but you get the idea.
They’re not they didn’t create something that they’re proud of my expertise is in helping people tell their story in such a way that it connects with your audience and they stop chasing clients. And instead they’re they’re just they’re a leader in their decision maker. And they get to choose their clients. They get to take those people that that they want to work with, versus trying to work with every Tom or Harry or that shows up at the door.
But part of this is you taking responsibility. I take responsibility for my wins and I take responsibilities for my losses. But I’ll share with you one key distinction when I when Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Let me share with you the difference between when I lose and when I win. When I lose I actually celebrate.
And I heard Gary Vee talk about this. I think he has a very different perspective than I. It’s similar but it’s a little different is that I celebrate because when I lose, I know that a win is is coming up really soon. I mean she could when you when you get your handed to you and you fall down and you fail I know something good is coming. I know that big I went when I lost when I got my car, jack and i and i and i and it was robbed.
And I got my house broken into the girl I was dating at the time. This was years ago and couple different circumstances and some bad stuff happened to me. And she’s like, I don’t know why I’m attracting all of this to us and to you. Oh my god. I feel like before you met me Everything was awesome. And I was like, hold on a second who said this is bad. Like Yeah, we got a car broken into. It was an inconvenience.
And they saw some of my stuff but I had insurance to cover it. Yay. And you know what, even though it’s not going to be perfect and it was an inconvenience in being internal. I know there is a gift in this if you’ve been following me at all. You know that I have a core question that I asked all the time. And it’s “What’s the gift in this?” and it helps me look at even the biggest piece of and know that there is a diamond or something magnificent inside of it.
Like I said, the biggest and greatest gifts you will ever receive do not come wrapped in shiny paper. They’re oftentimes wrapped in a package of hardship and heartbreak and failure and challenge. And when I lose or when I fail, I literally start looking around excited because I know there’s something awesome coming around the corner.
And then it’s not the it’s not be confusing here. Like, I will cry, I will get and I’m definitely somebody that gets angry and definitely someone who will cry at Disney movies and all kinds of stuff I will I will get upset. I definitely tried to experience my emotions but I move through it quickly so I can try to look for the gift I get through the wrapping paper which sometimes is a bunch of and they get through it and then I start looking for the gift in the magic on the other side.
And oftentimes I fail again. And I fail again. And I lose again. And it gets even worse. And then I look like a fool and somebody else thinks I’m a. And I get more and more excited because I know that the wind is coming. Because when you can look up, you can get up and there’s everything when you’re down in the gutter is a step up.
And now here’s the crazy thing when I when my wife is such a good winner, she’s uh, she’s like, she will honor the team that you know, she works with everybody so nicely and she she doesn’t like brag and stuff of them. And this girl celebrates she loves the when I’m actually a little bit scared when I when when I make a sale and I have a new client and I’m like a kind of excited I’m happy for them.
But I know the burden of responsibility of producing a result has now fallen on my shoulders. I’m actually a little nervous. I actually started looking around like who’s gonna try to sabotage this thing. Who’s gonna with me? And who’s going to with my new friend, my new client, my new family member that it is my responsibility to help serve.
So it’s kind of crazy that I’ve transformed the meaning of the sea. I didn’t like the roller coaster of constantly looking at the environment around me. And deciding that if it was raining, I would be sad. And if it was sunshine, I would be happy.
So instead, I looked at in like, it when it’s sunshine, and I’m going to get it. I’m going to get a sunburn. And we’re going to go all in. We’re going to play volleyball. That’s the Cisco swimming. And when it’s when it’s raining, I bring out an umbrella. And I can’t wait to go sing and dance in the rain. Especially when it’s more man. That’s pretty cool.
If you live in Florida, or visit any hot climates and it’s raining you should get outside because it’s just awesome. Go running the rainbow playing the rainbow dance in the rain be Fred Astaire, whatever you want to do. And when it snows, because I know what’s coming and I know the storm is coming. I take pictures of the of the storm. I look forward to it. I love all weather and I don’t care whether you give me a yes. I don’t care whether you give me a no i don’t care whether I win. I don’t care whether I lose. I’m going to keep going. I’m not going to quit and I’m going to look at my failures. And I’m going to change. I’m gonna go. This sucks. But I’m going to, I know that there is gold inside of it if I can find a way. And the truth is, you only get the choice to have two stories.
- You can have a story about why you failed; Or
- You can have a story about how you took that, about how you succeeded, about how you transformed the failure into your success.
And it doesn’t mean that you save you win every time it doesn’t mean that you you still win that race that you get that girl that you get that guy sometimes you lose the relationship. Sometimes you lose the job. Sometimes the business fails, and thank God that it did my bankruptcy and my homelessness and the success of the woman I was in love with who left me and took our child and left and a combination of things that before Oh, me. Oh, woe is Trevor was the coolest best thing that could have happened to me.
And when I first heard somebody share that he shared a horrific story about somebody chatting and really bad and it was damaging to him damaging to the people he loved. And he said it was a gift that he was given. When other people have done this evil to him. And I lost my mind. I was like, How on earth like I was so upset because at the time someone had wrong to me and mine I wanted to kill this guy who’d done something not nice to my girlfriend told you that another another time.
But through that, through the processing of learning how to go ahead and instead of blaming somebody take responsibility and learn forgiveness I learned that sometimes the worst that happens to you when you can make your the worst stuff the bad stuff when you can find the good in that when you can make your worst day your best day because it transform things for you and the rest of your life. When I got thrown in jail, it was one of the coolest things that ever could have happened.
To me, I did spend a night in jail for being a. When I was younger, when I found my bankruptcy there’s one of the best things are going to happen to me when my high school girlfriend broke up with me were cheated on me in college or whatnot. Like it was some of it sucked. It wasn’t comfortable. I didn’t like it. It was not a package that was all wrapped up and shiny paper. But thank God I don’t I’m not dating any of those chicks.
And then God I got slapped on the wrist when I was being a little. And thank God I lost the business that was holding me back. And so I don’t know if you’re winning or you’re losing. But I would strongly advise you to reconsider the meaning of your wins in the meaning of your losses. And you get to just choose.
See when you change your story, you change your life. What is this your story going to be? Your story about why you failed and you blaming somebody else or your story about how you succeeded or how you’re in the process of transforming and creating your new life. But this is a little bit longer than I had planned. But today we’re talking about winning and losing.
And my challenge for you is to try to think back on a time in your life when something really frickin bad happens. Something that at the time you’re bald your eyes out, you’re really upset. It was the worst thing in the world. Oh my god. And find a gift in it. Find something that that set you up for some strength that it gave you inside that was actually a magical, delicious, amazing gift from God.
That was one of your greatest gifts you’ve ever received that you can now look back on and recognize as a transformative moment in your life then end up setting you up for the job you have today. For the woman you relate with, for the man that you’re with, for the friends that you have around you for the relationships that you have and then take that and write it down in a journal and share it with them.
Share, share that story with somebody that you care and that you love and pay this forward, pay forward the gift and the realization in your own story. So my story is fine. And I’ll share with you other stories and other experiences like Donald Trump or Tony Robbins, or somebody one of my clients or something. But Wade means one thing when I say it, and it means everything when you say it, and you share it with someone else with your words.
And instead of listening to today’s episode, or anybody’s podcast, or any training or course that you go to and you have this little voice inside he says that’s I’ve already know that I’ve heard that before. He said it really nicely. That was really nice. I know this I don’t know that I need to go to another training or somebody else tells me that I don’t think I need to hire you because you know what? You’re telling me I’ve heard this before. That is your scarcity minded, poor mind.
If you are not living it, you do not know it. If you can’t teach it and share it with to another human, then you do not know it. If you are living it and you have walked the path, then you will. You’re a reflection of your ability to go ahead and six in 16 years, your reflection of your ability to overcome adversity, your reflection of the amount of good and love and contribution that you’ve made in other people’s lives.
So that’s all I got for you today. I’m sure there were several daily quotes we’re going to pull some out of there for the that downloadable PDF. If you liked today’s show, please Like us on iTunes and I’m giving you a free gift are giving you one of my books. It’s one of my favorite books that I wrote, actually wrote it sat down and got it done in 24 hours. Love telling that story to you.
Maybe I’ll tell you another time. But it’s my book, High Paying Clients. It’s about how you can find and attract and convert high paying clients. It’s my free gift to you. If you just shoot me an email with a screenshot, or send me a Facebook message with a screenshot of you giving me a review on iTunes. That would be phenomenal. Please share this podcast with somebody else that you know, love and care about.
And that’s it. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow on another daily dose of greatness quest. And very soon I’m going to be in the Bahamas. And I can’t wait to shoot those podcasts there for you. Alright, have a good day.
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