THE POWER OF NO
EPISODE 84 of a Daily Dose of Greatness Quest with Trevor Crane
“Real freedom is saying NO without giving a reason.” – Amit Jalandry
DAILY QUESTION & SUMMARY
When do you say NO? When “should” you say NO? Learning to say NO, without making any excuses or having to explain yourself is one of the most liberating feelings in the world.
What are you ADDICTED to? Something in your life or your business or your career or your free time, or your diet?… What are you addicted to?
What is it that you need to say NO to?
Pick something that you need to say NO to. I’m confident that you’re “tolerating” something in your life. Take a stand. Say NO to something today.
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It’s your boy Trevor Crane here. Welcome to another daily dose of greatness quest. Today’s subject is THE POWER OF NO.
Yesterday we talked about just saying yes but even more important, maybe than then saying yes to things are the things we need to say no to.
I know you’re going to love the show.
(INTRO – AUDIO)
Okay. So when I was 13 years old, I probably weighed about 110 pounds, dripping wet. One of my things. I really love that the time was playing high school sports, specifically football. Now if you know this, but when you’re about 5 foot five, and you weigh about 100 pounds, you’re not the biggest guy on the football field.
I think I was a sophomore at the time. And the we were facing our biggest rival in our little local conference. I love playing football. My mommy had to told me for years that she would never let me ride a motorcycle or play football because she didn’t want me to kill myself on motorcycle or hurt my knees playing football. That was mom trying to take care of me. And finally, she let me do it. When I had some step brothers that were smaller than they are about the same size as me. And they were able to play football. So I was allowed to.
So anyway, I’m playing football. Now, I wasn’t he biggest guy on the team. I wasn’t the fastest guy on the team. In fact, I barely made the team.
But I wanted to play.
So, I had to figure out how to actually “get in the game.”
My solution? To learn all the plays of all the positions I could play.
Because I wasn’t the fastest are the most coordinated. I tried to figure out all I had to use my head, I had to try to be smarter and sneaky. And I wasn’t actually the smartest, dude.
So I had to figure out how to go ahead and weasel my way in to the on the football field. And so what I did is I decided to learn all the place. A buddy of mine actually was the kicker. I like started, I was the guy that held the bowl. For the kicker, I brought myself on all the special teams, I learned all of the plays like all the plays on offense, and all the plays on defense.
So at any rate, we’re playing our arch rival, I think it was called or was the company was that the school name, I think that’s what it was. I can’t remember exactly. And the the head running back got hurt and injured and take it off the field. Then the second string running back got injured and taken off the field. And I was either third or fourth string, I don’t remember.
But what I do remember is that I knew all the place now it was like 123 injuries in a row. And I’m fourth string. And remember the coach grabbed me by the shoulder pads. And we were mostly a running team. So that meant that we didn’t have a quarterback that really could throw that much we didn’t, we didn’t have receivers that were that great catching, we didn’t have it. Like we just had a whole running we’re running offense is that meant they had to hand the ball off to somebody else. Me and they put me out there, I must have been the smallest kid on the team. Or at least I felt like it and I got my handed to me.We were getting pummeled. I remember at one stage, they handed off the ball to me, and I run it into this. This it felt like a forest of of redwoods that I ran into. And I got tackled and it felt like by the entire other team. I got hit so hard in the leg, like in the thigh that it knocked the wind out of me. And I found myself underneath this pile of people just in tears. I couldn’t breathe because I was underneath this pile of people. It was hugely Have you felt like a 10,000 pounds on my chest. I couldn’t read my leg hurts so bad. I thought for sure. That has to take me on the game.
And I wanted to quit. And I’m sure you’ve been in similar circumstances where you’ve had enough you’ve reached your threshold and you wanted to quit. This is actually supposed to be a podcast about how do you say about the difference between saying yes and no. And that there are times that she had to say yes, to your hopes and your dreams. And yes to your new story. And yes to you choosing to fight for what you believe in. At this point, though, when I had to scream No. Two was No, I wasn’t going to give up. See that entire team. I felt like it took me 10 minutes before I can catch your breath. Under that pile, the do’s and I remember I tears are streaming down my face. I couldn’t breathe. That first breath that I got when I got my wind back felt like it was just nectar. I don’t know. It was it was an amazing scary feeling to have my life back. I thought I might die under that group. And I looked at my team and I realized that they that I couldn’t quit. I couldn’t let them down. And instead of it being a voice of yours inside of me, it was a voice of know that I wouldn’t give up and that it wasn’t about me. But it was about the the people that I had around me that I couldn’t let them down. Because there was nobody else to jump into the game and play my friends who are first, second and third string had been taken out of the game. The rest of my friends and the family that I had was on that field and the voice the one word that resonated in my head was no.
And here’s the thing. I have found that there are many times in our life that the most powerful thing answer we can give someone is just a clear No, no, I will not work for your company. No, I will not take you on as a client. No, I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore. No, I’m not going to take your. No, I’m not going to accept what the doctors prognosis is. No. to the to the rules. No to your doctor. No, I’m not gonna play this game. No, I won’t know and I’ve become become very comfortable with the power of no.
My yesterday’s show was all about Yes. And somebody asked me nicely. I will say yes, often times I will disguise a no with Yes. Because what I’m really saying. I like to say yes. When somebody asked me for help, and they’re asking for something. Like I said, my wife comes to me and my wife comes to me all the time and asks for my help and my guidance for overnight guidance. It’s not exactly accurate. She asked for my help my wife, God, bless her, loves to get the people around her to help her and server and she’s phenomenal at it. And it’s a big wins for her. Because there was a time when she did not have that pattern when she was trying to do everything herself down. That has completely transformed and she will ask me for just about anything and everything. And I had to learn how to look at my wife and with all the love in my heart saying, No, no, I’m not going to do that. No, I’m not going to do that. Now. No, I’m not going to jump up and do this. Now. I love my wife. And And honestly, I will try to find another way to serve my wife because I’d like to, to to basically whipped so she asked me for something basically screwed. So oftentimes, I find a way to say yes, but I’m not her. I will not be told I will not go. I’m not wrapped around her finger. Like she can just control me. Like I’m a robot. I can protect myself and what I want. And just because my wife wants something, or my kids want something, or my employees want something, or my partners want something, or marketers want something or somebody wants my attention. I say no, I say no to TV. I haven’t owned TV, like had TV running in my house for over a decade. Maybe close to 20 years. Least 15 that’s not exactly accurate. I just recently moved to a house in Florida. And they they gave us a cable box that was hooked up to have TV we did. I think we watched it once in like six months. And I finally got them to take it off. Because we didn’t need it. It was just like they gave us cheaper internet to have it. And then my assistant finally got us got rid of it. But I just want to be in integrity on the fact that I don’t watch that. But I said no. I don’t want to talk and be distracted by the that I said. I’ll watch Netflix. I’ll watch Hulu will watch movies. But for years, I’ve said no, no, I’m not going to watch the news. No, I don’t want to see all your negative that you’re going to talk about. Like, I don’t want to watch TV commercials. If you’ve ever been to a hotel and turned on the TV. I think that this is almost going to be a thing of the past. Like who even watches TV anymore in a hotel room, then maybe you do and I’m just wrong on this. But with our laptops on our phones. And this instant TV that we basically have on the device we’re carrying around in our pocket that you’re probably listening to this on right now. Like why do we need the TV I don’t want to get distracted by all of the gobbledygook that they frickin got there. But if you do sometimes I just will turn on the TV in the hotel room. So I can watch the frickin commercials. Because I it’s like, I can’t surprise there. Even still around like I saw Gary Vee do a talk recently and trying to big audience and he asked the people in the room to stand up. How many people in the room watched Hulu or Netflix or something else like that. And that was a primary source of media entertainment. Instead of regular TV. The billions of dollars that are still being spent on TV commercials is the time of the past. That is about to go south. Pretty soon. That’s not going to even be because there’s nobody’s there and nobody’s watching. And we TiVo or I don’t even know because I haven’t the whole TiVo thing I missed entirely because I wasn’t watching TV. But people typically record their shows, I believe in the fast forward over the commercials. But if you ever watched a commercial, it’s just in saying, I can’t believe that is still out there. And it’s such frickin noise and I can’t stand it. I say no.
So here’s my question for you for the day. What is it that you need to say no to? maybe no to maybe there’s a job you need to walk away from. Maybe there’s a relationship you need to walk away from. For a long time, I was scared to hurt the people that I was with. And sometimes I would stay in a relationship much longer than I should oftentimes as a about it. And I made the women that I dated and break up with me, instead of me having the courage to then tell them the truth and just leave the relationship.
What is it in your life and your business and your career and your diet? What are you addicted to? That you need to say no to? Let’s talk about addictions and stuff on another time. But what is it the power of no and I believe that you can get a significant amount of power when you can say no, without making any excuses or having to explain yourself.
There’s a really good quote here. I want to read it to you. “Real freedom is saying no without giving a reason.” That’s from Amit Jalandry I think is his name.
And here’s the thing. There’s a power in saying yes. Yes. To your hopes? Yes. To your dream. Yes. You’re going to make the leap. Yes. You’re going to start the new company. Yes, you’re going to walk across the dance floor and trying to ask that girl or the guy you know, to get to for a dance to take the risk. Yes.
You know, a decade from now, two decades from now, you’re going to be more scared of the things you don’t do, more regretful of the chances you didn’t take than the things that you were you did leave the chances you wearing your life. Also, is it time for you to stop wasting time time to stop lying yourself? Maybe it’s something to say no to a story you’ve been telling yourself about limitations or about why you can’t do something as my challenge for you today is to just pick something that you can definitively say no to.
Recently, I just took out all fictional stories that I listened to on audiobook now I’ve been addicted, I’d realized to listening to audio books. And I love audio books. And I’ve listened to some audio books right now. But their audio books now that are all around me, building my marketing and my brand and becoming a better leader. Because I decided like, I don’t mind reading a biography now. But I don’t want to be distracted by science fiction or other things that I’ve been listening to. And I I love audible. I listened to books all the time I do it when I’m working out and just realize that it’s a distraction. So I’m saying no to it. And not necessarily forever. But for the next three months for the next 90 days. Absolutely no distraction and sedation because in the past I was getting bored with you know what i was anyway. Doesn’t matter what my story is. My question for you is what are you going to say no to.
That’s all I got for you. today. We are going to talk about something tomorrow and it is the is the frickin abyss of maybe in wishy washy gray zone. It’s that void between yes and no that really doesn’t exist but for some reason we will perpetuate it and will accept it in our lives and I think it is time for you to should get rid of that. We talked about the power of no and also the power of saying yes, I’m just saying yes.
So that’s all I got for you today. Make sure you take make today magnificent. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.
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