THE MEASURE OF COMMUNICATION
EPISODE 183 of a Daily Dose of Greatness Quest with Trevor Crane
How do you “measure” your communication with other people?
HINT: The measure of communication is based on how someone “receives” what you have to say. Not the good intent you have when words come out of your mouth.
And.. just because in-case the receiver gets UPSET… and your communication was “misinterpreted,” doesn’t mean you have to get upset yourself.
DAILY QUESTION & DAILY QUOTE
Where in your life are you not communicating well? Who do you know that you should talk to, and clean-up your communication?
Is it in your PERSONAL or PROFESSIONAL life?
“The measure of communication is based on how someone “receives” what you have to say. Not the good intent you have when words come out of your mouth.” – Trevor Crane
Identify an area of your life you need to clean-up your communication. And go do it.
HERE’S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO NEXT:
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Welcome to another episode of greatness quest. This is Trevor Crane. And today is another video episode.
If you are watching or listening to this on just audio, you can go check it out at trevorcrane.tv and see the YouTube channel or check it out on Facebook or whatever.
I know you’re gonna love this show today. The subject is the measure of communication. This is a lot of fun, and I hope you enjoy it.
(INTRO – AUDIO)
So I just I’m sitting outside my ex’s house right there, and I’m waiting for my daughter to get her clothes and and stuff because I’m taking her to school this morning. I was down in Clearwater Beach this this weekend.
And then I’m taking my daughter to school right now. And she forgot her school clothes. So we had to come here. And then on the drive. And we thought we had about an hour drive. It wasn’t that. But we had on the drive over here.
She’s starting to get nervous that she wouldn’t make it to school on time into the boss on time. And then she you just wanted to get ready at her mom’s house. So she said to me that she wanted to message your mom and find out like and say, Mom, can I when I come over? Can you help me? Can you make me a lunch.
And so because she didn’t want to wake up her mom or to bother her, she decided to send a text message instead of call. Because she said it’s a little early. I think my mom might be still be sleeping. So I think it just is better to send her a text message.
So while we’re sitting here, she was sitting there, I’m sitting here, she sent her mom a text message and was trying to be nice. Now that’s not how it was received.
So her mom thought that Phoenix was being rude by asking, and probably what she wrote in the text message. I didn’t read it, I probably could right here and kind of give my two cents. But then there was this back and forth text messaging between her mom and in my daughter.
And what we were just talking about them before my daughter went in here is the measure of communication, because I remember being in a relationship with her mom. And oftentimes I would try to be really thoughtful about what I was going to communicate. And then her mom wouldn’t like it.
Now, this is not an accusation that her mom is not like, this sounds really like I’m beating her mom up. That is not it at all. The truth is, is that the measure of communication is about how it’s received not how, what the intent is.
When you give it to my my intent was most often times very pure. But I have found that doesn’t matter who I’m communicating with man, woman, wife, x, my daughter, you a client, my dad, my dog, like there is a difference in my intention oftentimes, and how the message actually shows up.
And the real measure here is not my intent. The intent is cute, the intent is nice, the intent is sweet. The intention probably comes from a pure place, but it doesn’t mean that’s how it’s received. In fact, oftentimes people misinterpret our communication.
And her mom shared with her if she didn’t understand the context. They just got on a phone call. My daughter started getting really upset she’s showing up here right now. So she’ll maybe be part of this.
But my daughter was getting really upset about how her mom was angry with her and getting in and thought it was rude. And they were text messaging back and forth. And it wasn’t going well. And it’s a just call her just deal with it. Like, what is going on that you find out.
And so they had a conversation and her mom said that she didn’t understand the text and that in the texts are sometimes confusing. And then if Phoenix would have just called and explained the situation, that there wouldn’t have been a miscommunication.
So here’s how I think this is showing up for you and I the question today is about where in your life are you not communicating well? Where in your life body being balanced and business?
If that’s where you want to look at it? faith, family finances and and fitness if that’s where you want to look at it in your personal life, or your professional life? Pick a category. Where in your life are you not communicating well?
And could you could you clean up your communication? I don’t care about your intent. I mean, I’m sure your intent is great. But where in your life do you need to improve your communication? Like what my daughter just learned with her mom, is that a better way to communicate with her via instead of text would have been to call.
Now it’s entirely possible that my daughter would have tried to call and her mom would have been upset, Hey, why are you calling me so early in the morning. So it just depends you doesn’t mean that you’re going to get it right.
But that you try the best you can to go ahead and make sure that your messages received. I was just teasing. I’m not using. I used another example. My daughter loves the peace sign. So she will lose the peace sign. And she loves bunny ears. So we’ll do pictures.
And my daughter is always popping these bunny ears up. And she thinks it’s really cute. Well, I did know this. But there was a time that I was traveling in Europe when I was in my 20s. And I thought this peace sign was really cute.
In fact, I thought that this was the peace sign. And this was a peace sign. And that it meant piece. That’s what I thought I was being all peaceful and nice. Hi, honey. You get all your stuff. Yeah, good job.
And so my daughter and I were just talking about this the peace sign and about how it might be really cute for us, to us to give that symbol to somebody.
But in the UK, I found out that the peace sign if you give it like this is different than this, that this sign in the UK does not mean peace. That means peace. That does not mean peace.
And for those of you who know sign language, at least I don’t have the I don’t think they call it sign language. When it’s just like a cultural thing. Let me put this up here because we got to drive to school. Well, you can just bring me to the bus stop. I’m gonna take you out for you’re good to go. Okay, I need to brush my hair. Okay, let me finish the video. Okay, can I finish your brush here? Okay, so we’re all good to go.
So if you didn’t know this already the number one sign the I don’t know if this is an international sign that this works. But this symbol this number one finger I am I am not saying this to you right now. Not trying to give you that that symbol. But uh. This and this mean awful lot. The same thing in the UK.
In fact, I don’t exactly know what they think that this means. You can stick it up your hoo ha in the UK. And that this means you can stick it up in the in the US and everywhere else I think. But anyway, right? That what we were just teasing about are talking about China. That’s what it is in China.
So we were talking about was that we could be an eight. Like I was asking her about road rage because we’re here in the car. And I said, if you ever heard of somebody in road rage, who’s going like this is why did you cut me off you bad guy. And they go like this.
And most people in the US here would know that somebody’s doing like that to you that they’re thinking you’re bad like you did there. They’re mad at me. And that if we were in the car and some Friday from the UK was driving along and they started sending us the peace symbol turned around like this. You people did that to me. You cut me off whatever their whatever. They’re upset about that.
The way we might have received it is all that’s so nice. All those okay. I must have said peace to me. Because I asked my daughter. What does this mean? And she’s like, it means peace like.
Well, some people think it means that but the measure of the communication from our receiving side would have been wrong. But we would have received was peace. Oh, he really loves me. I don’t know why he loves me so much. He gave Why does he have that angry face on I don’t know, because I cut them off I guess.
But he’s really nice. boy did people in the UK are just so nice. Hard. You’re going cousin it pretty. Pretty good. Just didn’t get to brush your hair last night. Oh. So last night, she didn’t have a brush. Because we didn’t have a brush. And she she we were in the ocean and different things. So it kinda was not an so at any rate, the measure of communication take.
The measure of communication is about how it’s received, not the good intent that you have when you’re sharing it with someone else. And so if you can misinterpret a gesture, it’s it’s possible that you could misinterpret a text or the person that is receiving it could misinterpret it.
And just because the receiver gets upset does not mean that you and I have to get upset we I was just telling him on the podcast here that you and I were talking to your with each other about communication and about.
Oh, that’s good. She loves you still. Even though you’re so rude this morning, did you make that cup show off your cup 2016 and looks like you made that does that you’re our work very nice kitties or her favorite animal.
So at any rate, so my challenge to you today is to think about an area of your life where you’re not communicating effectively, maybe on a consistent basis. It’s 850 my bus. I know we’re very early. No.
Okay. So my challenge to you is to think about an area of your life that you’re not communicating well, and they go in and try to clear up the communication.
Like it’s up to my daughter to figure out the right way to communicate to her mom, so that her mom receives what she wants to share instead of thinking of something else. And she learned that the text messages probably aren’t awesome.
And it’s also possible that as many as hard as she tries to go ahead and communicate effectively, there’s going to be somebody who doesn’t like it.
This is another thing that I think is an important lesson here is that just like you can you do the best you can to share with people from your heart about what you feel.
And that’s what I’m asking you to clean up. If you’re if you haven’t done so already find an area of your life that you actually haven’t done this and then clean up the message so that they can receive how you really feel.
But honestly, I don’t want to get upset about something that I can’t control. Because if I can’t control whether or not someone’s gonna be mad, happy, sad, glad, whatever. Oh, you decided to wear it up, then I don’t want to be on an emotional roller coaster. Always measuring my own happiness or sadness based on what other people think or feel.
So there comes a point of responsibility where I need to take responsibility, how people are receiving my message, but I also get to choose how I’m going to receive their feedback. I’m not going to get all upset if I do the best I can to communicate effectively. I’m not going to get worried or upset or mad at myself for doing the best that I can right baby.
Okay, that’s all I got for you today. I’ll see you tomorrow on another daily dose of greatness quest. Anything else to say Honey, what did you learn about communication middle? Well, is there anything else you want to share with them over the buses behind this? Is that your bus?
Is there anything else you learned about communication you’d like to share today? Come on. share something learn from an 11 year old but come on. That’s it just hilarity. Don’t you dare turn that around Don’t you dare. Don’t turn your fingers around. Does that still mean peace to you?
Okay. All right. I don’t know you’re crazy. I think it’s a gang symbol Ted Vega down you want to give the wrong sex symbol that anybody.
All right later.
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