A friend of mine committed suicide today.
I’ve not known what to say all day. But, it sucks.
Everything about it sucks.
I wish he would have called me.
From what I knew of him, he was always a sweetheart.
Always had something nice to say about others.
And as I am sad…
I am also fucking pissed off.
I know you’re not supposed to say it.
But it’s the way it is.
I think it’s SELFISH.
I think he was selfish.
I think the worst thing about suicide is what it does to the
people LEFT behind.
Family. Friends. Peers. Even strangers.
Everyone around the person is hit.
Everyone is hurt.
It’s fucking selfish.
My aunt committed suicide.
It was years ago.
She left her husband and two kids.
My two cousins.
It’s fucking devastating.
A few years ago another friend of mine blew his brains out.
It was fucking horrible.
He’d worked for me.
We’d shed blood, sweat and tears together.
And he killed himself.
Why the fuck didn’t he call?
Why the hell didn’t he ask for help?
The other fucking WORST thing about this shit is the OUTPOURING of love that comes out AFTER someone does something like this.
If they only saw how many people loved them…
Years ago, the day I found out my friend shot himself, I was volunteering at a Tony Robbins event.
It was “suicide-day.”
That meant that it was the day that Tony would do an intervention with someone in the audience who was suicidal.
Tony does this event every year. Sometimes multiple times a year.
The event is called Date With Destiny.
If you have not yet been to this event, go.
It will change your life.
It is transformational.
Anyways, I found out on suicide day.
As I described… I was hurt.
I didn’t, and I don’t blame myself.
But I did take time to consider what I could have done that might have made a difference.
For me, it was a wake up call.
FOR YEARS I’d been following Tony around the country.
I helped out at every event I could attend.
I’ve gotten so much from Tony and the environment he’s created, that I saw it as my duty to give back.
How was I “showing up” outside this environment?
My life was changed.
Of that, there was no doubt.
My happiness, my business, my money, my relationships… had transformed.
Not by magic.
Not because I worship Tony, or any other “guru” I chose to help me.
(If you’ve not seen, “I’m not your guru” on Netflix, go see that TODAY.)
My life had gotten better, because I got better.
I take full responsibility for that shit.
Sure, of course, I needed fucking help.
So I asked for it.
Like any responsible adult should do.
Like any kid should do.
Like any businessman/businesswoman should do.
Ask For Fucking Help!
That’s what humans are here for.
Left alone in the woods, human babies die.
OUR SUPERPOWER IS THAT WE NEED ONE ANOTHER.
If you or someone you love wants something they don’t have…
Or if you or someone you love needs something…
Help of ANY kind…
That’s what we are here for.
STOP BEING SELFISH.
It’s selfish when you FAIL to
Ask For help.
We love you mother fucker.
We deserve right to help you.
When we do, it makes us feel great.
I have a new client who I am helping with her book.
And her business.
And she just got back from being on tour with Jay Z.
She’s fucking the coolest chick.
And we were talking about her new book, and about how she works with some of the biggest stars and most successful people on the planet.
… and she’s been scared to ask for their help.
STOP BEING SELFISH.
Good people, nice people, like helping people.
It makes us feel good.
It makes us feel like our lives are worth something.
Why would you want to STEAL that from someone you care about?
Or look up to?
Including Jay Z.
STOP BEING SELFISH!!!
They love you woman…
They count on you to help take care of their health and happiness and their families.
Ask for help.
It’s not weak.
It’s one of the most loving and caring things you can do.
ASK FOR HELP.
It takes courage to admit when you need help.
Only fucking cowards keep to themselves.
Only cowards, selfish mother fucking cowards… FAIL to ask the people around them for help when they need it.
Years ago, when I looked ? at myself in the mirror after my buddy died…
I realized I was playing small.
Why wasn’t I playing big?
The truth was, I’d been traveling around with Tony to try to fill the void of CONTRIBUTION that I wanted in my life.
And in my life, I was playing small.
I’d not become an author.
I’d not “really” began my coaching and consulting or speaking business.
I WAS BEING A SCARED SELFISH LITTLE PUSSY.
And my friend killed himself.
Again, not my fault.
But I’d been volunteering for YEAR’S.
I’ve been trained to handle shit like this…
phobias, and addictions, etc…
I’m a master practitioner of NLP. I’m trained in advanced hypnosis, I’m a ? Firewalking instructor.
I got skills.
I’ve helped people beat cancer, overcome depression, quit smoking, raise better kids, be better parents.
I’ve helped rape victims and people with weight issues and eating disorders, and…
I’ve helped people stop themselves from committing fucking suicide.
I did most of that shit when I was volunteering with Tony.
I wasn’t LEADING in the real-world.
I was playing it SAFE in my bubble.
Tony didn’t ask me to “follow” him.
“Hey Trevor, you little lemming, follow me…”
No! Fuck that.
Instead, Tony asked me to walk “with” him.
Next to him.
He asked me to step up.
He asked me to take my place.
And I’d not accepted.
That day, two more things happened, that changed my life.
1. A woman in the audience came to me.
Again, it was suicide day.
She told me she had to leave the event.
Her husband had killed himself the week before… and she couldn’t take it.
In the middle of the event she started losing her shit.
She’s not yet grieved or cried for the loss of her husband.
She had 2 young daughters she’s had to be strong for.
But she asked…
And I helped.
I gave her what she needed.
That was it.
I held her.
In the middle of the room…
with thousands of people all around her…
she felt safe enough to let go.
To finally cry.
And I held her.
Like a parent.
With unconditional love
And, I held her while she sobbed.
Then she ran.
She didn’t want people to see her.
She wanted to hide.
So she almost literally ran from the room.
She asked for help.
It was one of the greatest feelings of my life to help her that day.
At the end of it, she hugged me.
She went back into the event.
She realized she was in the right place.
She said thank you.
And I felt elated.
Again, I’d just found out a friend had killed himself.
I thought that there must be some reason this woman had chosen me.
I only wished my friend had talked to me.
Just one phone call.
But he didn’t.
Instead he swallowed a gun and plastered his brains all over his parents back porch.
And then, the second thing happened that changed my life…
2. A well meaning, but misguided “trainer” at the Tony event, kicked me out of the event.
The straw that broke the camel’s ? back?
Me hugging and helping that woman.
I was bye bye.
Apparently took the accusation to ALL the trainers and then votes me out.
(This was based on his observations my sexually-deviant behavior. No proof. No accusations from any women. Just this douchebag.)
So I was escorted by security out of the event.
Warned not to come back.
It was all bullshit, and I won’t go into his all of his stupid fucking allegations, but one of the women I apparently assaulted was my friend’s, 16 year old daughter.
While I’ve know since She was 12.
She hugged me, and the douche thought it was inappropriate.
He didn’t tell me of course. But he used it to get me banned from the event.
Like a fucking witch trial.
They apparently asked a bunch of women if I’d ever been inappropriate with them or made them feel sexually intimidated.
Guilty until proven innocent.
I guess they all said no, but about 12 chicks told me later, that…
…the way they’d been asked about me, made them feel yucked the fuck out.
And they started to misconstrue all of our previous encounters, and think maybe I was just trying to duck them all.
(Yes I am a guy, but no I don’t need to fuck every girl I see.)
The mother fucker who kicked me out, specifically fingered 3-4 chicks I’d been “inappropriate“ with.
(I don’t think he literally “fingered” them… that’s what I was getting accused of.)
Apparently, all told him to go fuck himself.
My buddy, with the 16-year-old daughter was hugely pissed off.
All the chicks they asked, had my back.
And a few days later, security brought me in to apologize.
No, not the douche who accused me.
He still hates my guts and probably thinks I want to fuck his grandmother.
I was fucked up.
I felt hurt.
And while I did come back, and I still go back to volunteer at Tony events…
It’s not the same.
I decided it was prime fucking time to start changing the world outside the walls of a seminar.
Outside the walls of my house.
Outside the walls of my comfort zone.
So I did.
And I am.
And I do.
Another fucking friend took his own life.
He was also a previous client.
Which is like family to me.
I only work with people who I fall in love with.
I fall in love with their hopes and dreams and their spirit…
And their hopes and dreams become my own.
Their “winning” becomes my mission.
And while I DO NOT blame myself, I feel awful that I wasn’t able to help him.
And I’m pissed at him.
And while I DO NOT blame myself, I recognize that I’m still not playing BIG yet.
Not as big as I need to be.
I still make excuses.
I’m still scared.
I’m still being a pussy.
I’m capable of so much more.
And maybe that more, might have made a difference.
And if you’ve read this far,
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Are you playing big?
Or are you playing small?
What do you need to do to take it to the next level, so someone you care about doesn’t do something stupid.
STOP BEING SELFISH.
In what area of your life do you need help?
In your business?
Is it time for you to let go of:
Grief? Blame? Anger? Shame? Self doubt?
WHAT’S YOUR STORY GOING TO BE ABOUT?
You are the master of your destiny.
Is your story, is your life going to be an EXAMPLE OF WHAT’S POSSIBLE?
Or will it me a WARNING?
What’s your legacy going to be?
Will your setbacks stop you?
Or will you transform them into the setups you needed to become who you were meant to become?
As for me?
I choose MORE.
I can give more.
I can be more.
I can do more.
I can have more.
I planned to restart my podcast, Greatness Quest as a daily podcast in 2018.
But… I didn’t do it.
Busy with life, and my wife, and my stride.
I lost a couple key employees who sucked up some of my time.
Oh I have plenty of exucuses…
Fucked up contractors
Drug addicts, lying to me
My ten year old
Intensive care with my son
But we get two things in life:
Results or excuses.
Triumph or our story of failure.
Would my Daily Dose of Greatness Quest, podcast have made the difference?
My friend who killed himself today was Steven Woloszyk.
He parked his car on the side of the highway, and threw himself in front of a semi truck.
He was my client.
He quit BEFORE writing and publishing his book.
The world will be a darker place without him in it.
My thoughts and prayers go out to his friends and family.
He will be missed.
But hopefully some of us will choose differently because of this.
My new podcast is coming.
That’s a promise.
My next book, is coming… I promise.
Me playing BIGGER and with less FEAR, is coming… I promise.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
If you or someone you love needs help, please ask.
I’d be glad to help.
And most people, if you ask nicely, will be happy to help you to.
It makes them good.
And want to know a secret?
Want to know the fastest way to fell good, when you feel bad?
Help someone else.
Get out of your SELF.
It feels great.
WARNING: Helping others, is addictive.
That woman I told you about, whose husband whacked himself?
That woman wrote me a thank you letter. Told me I helped changed he her life. And her daughters lives.
She even sent me a very thoughtful present.
And the mother fucker who kicked me out of a Tony Robbins event?
He can suck my dick.
He did me a fucking favor.
I don’t need his, or anybody’s fucking “permission” to do what I know is fucking right.
And when you do something right, when you follow your heart, there’s always going to be some poor, deluded, Mother Fucker who hates on you.
THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT.
You can’t make everyone happy.
And never do anything that really matters.
You never truly successful until someone you don’t know doesn’t like you.
Take that leap.
Follow your inner VOICE who guides you.
And become your BEST.
I believe in you.
Available 24 hours everyday!