SKELETONS IN YOUR CLOSET
EPISODE 64 of a Daily Dose of Greatness Quest with Trevor Crane
“When you face your fears you find freedom.” – Trevor Crane
What skeletons are in your closet that you DON’T want to share with others?
Clean it out, man. It’s time for a spring cleaning.
Expose the skeletons in your closet.
Pick one and and share it with someone. Start the process of being completely honest and open and truthful. Find the power that lies behind it.
Today, I talk about exposing the SKELETONS IN YOUR CLOSET.
I share what I have learned from exposing my own. I know it’s scary, but it leads to freedom and better relationships with my friends, family, clients… everyone.
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So I’m curious. What skeletons you have in your closet? I exposed mine years ago when I do my best to face my fears every single day, especially the scary stuff that I don’t want to share with people.
I think today’s show can make a big difference. Yes. I hope you enjoy it.
(INTRO – AUDIO)
All right, as I said, today’s subject matter are SKELETONS IN YOUR CLOSET. So this subject has come up as just kind of a follow up to yesterday’s show where I talked about the Hamilton musical. In that musical, what really, like started moving me and realizing that I needed to share some of my insights about this show is that when Alexander Hamilton finally acknowledged publicly that he had made mistakes, that he had cheated on his wife. The combination of things that he like owned up to, at least the way the musical portrayed it, is what completely blew my mind. And that didn’t blow my mind, I was so proud of them in the moment.
Because what I have found is that the deepest darkest fears that we have are often those things that after we face, can give us the most freedom. And I’ll give you some personal examples today because I don’t want you to just think this is all hyperbole and bullshit. Because I’ve had some things that I didn’t want to share with others many, many times. And some things that scared the hell out of me both personally and professionally. And when I finally just face those fears and started sharing those skeletons in my closet with others, it totally gave me freedom.
I’m going to share some things today that I haven’t shared a lot in the past or rarely. To go ahead and just do the same thing for you and to share them with you is a scary thing. Potentially, you know, it’s not for me anymore. Very rarely, I like to typically share my vulnerabilities and my fears and my stories like that when they have context and relevance to help you and serve you. It’s not for me to go ahead and wallow in self-pity and tell my sob story about how bad things are. Be a victim that’s not it. It’s about transforming the fear into freedom. And it starts off by just telling the truth.
Now, where did this show up for me? So you guys probably know about my bankruptcy. So I had a $2.2 million bankruptcy. I talk about that now almost at the front end of my brand. I talk about it now. this big vulnerable thing that was really scary to go through and I was definitely embarrassed when this was happening. I didn’t want to tell anybody that I had this bullshit going on in my life. I didn’t want to tell my friends and family and the people that were around me, certainly not anybody who was following me professionally.
I didn’t want to share with them that I was going through also a relationship challenge at the time. that the woman that I was with, that I was, had been in love with, we had a two year old daughter together, but she was leaving me for probably a lot of good reasons. I didn’t want to acknowledge that either. I wanted to blame it all on her. I didn’t want to tell the truth that I had screwed everything up, screwed up my business, screwed up my life.
And so I just avoided it for a long time. And I remember like being so scared that anybody would find out. And this is not a place of power. Tomorrow’s show, I want to talk about how scared people scare the shit out of me, like people who are living in fear and making decisions based in fear.
But let me just ask you a question real quick. I’m gonna go ahead and give a little prelude to tomorrow. Let’s imagine that you have a big decision to make and it’s an important decision maybe it’s a life or death situation or it’s a situation that you have a really have a choice to make a decision about your business a powerful important decision to make. And you’re making that decision based in fear. My question for you is, what is the possibility, what’s the likelihood that you’re going to make the right decision when you’re facing it in a mindset of fear and scarcity?
As opposed to now let’s look at the same situation, the same decision-making process and you’re not making a decision based in fear. You’re making a decision based in confidence and power and certainty. And now you’re facing the same life or death situation, the same decision you can make about your business and you now have a choice to make it from power and strength. What’s the likelihood that you’re going to make the right choice?
Like people who are scared scare the shit out of me. We’re going to talk about this more tomorrow. But today this is about the, I kind of got off tangent there. Today, I want to share with you how it felt freedom wise, when I finally just acknowledged to the world that I’d gone through those challenges.
And you know, once I started, when I first told somebody that I had filed a bankruptcy, like I’ll tell you what, my mom told me it’s not a good idea. When, you know, the people that were around me said, “Hey, don’t share that stuff. That is ugly stuff. It’s stuff that you want to forget. You don’t want to tell the world that you made a mistake. That is going to be bad. People are going to judge you. They’re not going to like you. They’re not going to want to do business with you.”
And so, what I found is exactly the opposite. So the loving, caring advice that I got from my friends or my inner voice that was telling me “don’t share this stuff” is actually was bad advice. The stuff that gave me freedom and made me and helped me build a better relationship with people was sharing the truth. And it was a scary thing to do but it didn’t stop there, you know. That’s not the only example I have for you today.
But I will share with you something that a couple of other times in my life, this has happened. Because I’ll tell you what, there’s not one example in my life where I had a skeleton my closet, something I didn’t want someone to know but when I finally have just the courage to face it, to face my fear and expose my fear and do it publicly, do it with other humans, do it with at least one other human and then do it bigger and bigger and bigger. I have found that every single one of those examples, I was scared of something that never manifested. NEVER MANIFESTED.
One time I was, when I was 18 years old, I’d gotten thrown in jail for stealing. And I spent a night in jail. And boy, that was one of the scariest things that ever happened to me. And I, honestly it scared me straight. Before that, I’d been a little bastard. I was always trying to cheat and steal and lie and find a way to win. Now I had my own story about why I was doing it. And it seemed to be worthwhile for me at the time but this other bullshit. And for years, for over a decade, for a long, long time, maybe two decades, I never shared that with another human.
And I remember the day that I finally just acknowledged to a girl I was dating at the time. And I told her the skeleton that I had in my closet. And man, I thought I was gonna pissed my pants when I did it. I was so scared of sharing with her that I had spent the night in jail and done something bad. And that she wasn’t going to like me anymore. And that was the opposite of what happened.
And now I have found that when I share my bankruptcy, the time that I spent in jail, and that was only one night, that is actually, these are cool things that people built. That they have respect and love for you when you acknowledge this stuff that is your biggest fear. This has happened for me, even when I was talking to a girlfriend or my wife about what it is that I want personally. What it is that I want sexually. Like that’s a scary conversation to tell somebody, “Hey, this is what I’m into, you know. This is what I want.”
And the thing is, is that it’s not scary once you get in the habit of actually sharing your truth. See, because when you share your truth, you set yourself free. Because it really doesn’t matter what other people think. I know that’s a hard one for a lot of us to face because we think our mom or dad, somebody around us where we are concerned about their opinion of us. But when you can drop that facade of needing to care, and one of the ways to best ways to do this is to just take the skeletons in your closet and face them. When you can drop that façade, you can set yourself free.
So here’s my challenge for you today is to think about your closet. What is it that you’ve got in there? What skeletons are in there that you don’t want to share with others? And I would say clean it out, man. It’s time for a spring cleaning. What that means? Get rid of it. It’s just it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing that you have done, there’s nothing that should be in there that you are scared of.
And the cool thing is, opening that door is really like a treasure chest. When you get the opportunity to open that up, and you have the courage to share that with others, what you’re going to find is that some of those fears are going to be your greatest strength. And the things that can transform trust and build respect, and rapport and connection with other humans. And you’re going to find that there’s so much value there than you used to be scared of.
So that’s all I got for you today. Expose the stuff in your closet, at least pick one thing that you like, want, or scared of. That is not what I meant, I’m sorry, not what you like, or what. I’m talking about exposing. Pick one thing in that closet and talk to another human about it. And try to experience, start the process of just being completely honest and open and truthful and see the power that lies behind it. And I promise you that you will have some amazing results.
All right. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow on another daily dose of greatness quest.
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