Yesterday, I talked about the No. 2 most dangerous phrase you use that will virtually guarantee your failure.
Today, I talk about the No. 1 and it’s the phrase “I can’t”. These two words are the most dangerous words in our vocabulary. They can sabotage our own success, our own ability to dream and think that things are possible.
What has to happen in order for me to _______? (Fill in the blank)
“We set goals not to get the goal but for who we become in the process.” -Trevor Crane
Go on a diet where you replace “I can’t” with “how can I”.
Or another phrase that I like to use is “what has to happen in order for me to get _______” whatever that blank is.
What has to happen in order for me to make a million dollars? What has to happen in order for me to get an A on the test?
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What are the two words that people use? No, hold on. What are the two words that you use that sabotage your success, that hold you back, that virtually guarantee that you fail? That’s the subject for today’s episode of greatness quest.
(INTRO – AUDIO)
Hey guys, welcome back. Today is a video episode. So if you’re listening to this on podcast, make sure you go to YouTube and check out the video. I’m just recording this in my car today.
So I’m driving around doing some errands. actually buying some stuff for my wife sent me out of there. And it’s stuff for our five-month old baby. So I bought cool shorts and things. We’re about to go on a trip to California. We’ve been doing a lot of traveling this summer.
But on yesterday’s podcast, I wanted to, I mentioned that there are two words that sabotage success. And these are words that my dad actually helped condition me when I was a little kid to keep them out of my language. And I try to do the same thing now with my daughter.
And the challenges I see people use these two words all the time and I find and I admit that I still find myself falling into the same pattern and actually using that myself whether these are words that you say out loud or these are actually words or phrases that we say to our self, maybe quietly or silently that they’re things that they’re limiters that we put on ourselves.
Now, when I was growing up, I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona. My my dad was a horseshoer. So as the son of a horseshoer, we didn’t make a lot of money. One of the biggest challenges I had growing up was looking at all of the the lack we had around us. My mom and dad seemed to fight about money all the time. It was always like we couldn’t afford that was one of the I thought that was our family motto was that we couldn’t afford it.
And then But that said, one of the gifts my father and mother gave me was the belief that I could do anything because a pattern of language I had when I was a little kid was I can’t.
And those are the two words by the way, I can’t. I can’t. Holy shit, these words shut us down. These two words are the biggest, I think most dangerous words that in the human language. I think they are something that sabotages our own success, our own ability to to dream and things and think things are possible.
I catch my daughter saying it now. And what we’ve done in my family is that if we say the words I can’t we oh we have to drop down and do three push ups like that was the immediate thing is if you say I can’t then that’s not a phrase this a lot in our house I even make my daughters friends do push ups if they’re at the house and they say I can’t.
Now when I was growing up, my dad had a phrase if you ever heard me as a little kid say I can’t he would basically say can’t his big is big quote was a “can’t never did nothing”. That was my dad thing “can’t never did nothing”. Of all the quotes I can remember from my dad like that’s the one dad-ism that stands out, “can’t never did nothing.”
And the crazy thing is that the saying I can’t is such a frickin such a lie. It’s such. See you can I can in fact so let’s keep this really simple. When you catch yourself saying or thinking “I can’t”, all you’ve got to do is just replace that with “how can I”.
This is a little game that I played with myself. When I’ve had different phrases that I’ve found myself. I’ve caught myself in the pattern. It used to be when I was speaking. And I would say I’m a lot he used to be when I use the word I’ll try. And then what I did is I just became hypersensitive to when I came up with that in my mind, or when they said those things, then I immediately replaced them with something else replace it with how can I let’s say that you were working for someone else.
We hired a gal who came to be our nanny when we when our baby was first born. And I asked her on one of the first days of work with us if she could boil some eggs and make something for lunch or whatever was and I literally had the eggs on the pan, on the stove and I said, kid, you know, can you make me some hard boiled eggs? And she said, No, I can’t I can’t do that.
Like I can’t boil eggs like dude like that is not like you can’t boil eggs like it was an absolute for her. One thing I knew was that this girl was not going to be working for us long. I probably should have let her go that very data very minute. But I didn’t want to be a jerk. But honestly, like I can’t. I can’t. That is the thing that sabotages us. I know, this is a phrase to sabotage me sometimes.
And not just in the past, but also currently, like, when I’m setting goals for myself, sometimes I think there’s such big goals that will find myself falling into a pattern of I can’t do that which I just shared with you. I know is. I know that I’ve set big goals in the past and I’ve reached them. I also know that I don’t always get my goal or I don’t always know how to get the goal. I think even if you don’t know how you should still say I can, even if you’re not even sure that you can. It’s just a better way to look at the challenge.
So here’s my challenge for you today. We’re going to keep this really short. Go ahead and try to go on a diet where you replace “I can’t” with “how can I” or another phrase that I like to use is “what has to happen in order for me to get” blank whatever that blank is. What has to happen in order for me to make a million dollars, what has to happen in order for me to get an A on the test?
Now, when I was in college, and I set this goal, I went to my teachers and I was approaching finals. And I said, hey, what has to happen in order for me to get an A in this class? And at the time, it was like on one at one of the finals, I needed to get 100%. If I missed one question, I would get a B.
And then I found out at another class I had, I could only use two questions or I’d get a B and I found another time like and and I set that up and I went and I was my goal is to get straight A’s this one semester and I failed. I got instead of missing one question on one or no questions on one test. I missed one. Instead of missing two questions. I went test them Miss three. Like I screwed it all up. I messed up.
You know, when I was a when I was 11 years old. I was trying to do 11 pull ups and I just went to my dad and I said, How can I do 11 pull ups? I think of short I’ve shared this story with you before and when the day came. I was really excited because I had trained myself to try to do these 11 pull ups and I failed. I failed on that day.
Within 30 days, though, I did 30 pull ups because of who I became in the process of trying to get the goal. I don’t think we set goals or even try to achieve goals for the getting them. It’s who we become. It’s the hard work of it’s the journey of who we become.
So my challenge to you is to just ask the question how what has to happen in order for me to get this or that and replace the I can’t with I can and then find a way. You’re going to see a million examples. You probably listen to stuff and watch videos and are looking for inspiration and examples of people who have accomplished amazing things with just trying to find the way and not taking anybody else’s not even our own.
That’s all I got for you today. Make today magnificent and try to take these two words I can’t on your vocabulary. And if you’re like me, you may find that they’re still showing up on more in your mind and in your, with your mouth. But that still is hurting, you know, still is hurting me. And I’m going to do my best to take that out and to set goals without limitations.
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And that’s it, man. Go make today magnificent and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow on other daily dose of greatness quest.
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