HAVE IT ALL, LOSE IT ALL
EPISODE 162 of a Daily Dose of Greatness Quest with Trevor Crane
Today, I talk about patterns that can lead you to HAVE IT ALL, and LOSE IT ALL.
(Of this, I speak from experience.)
These are patterns that YOU might be running today. Maybe, one’s which you’ve run in the before. Possibly, if you’re at all like me, these patterns contributed to you BURNING everything you have to the ground. Sinking the ship. And sabotaging EVERYTHING you’d built up until that point.
My REVELATION today, is that I have recognized these patterns AGAIN in myself TODAY. Son of a BITCH! To realize that I’m IN THE PROCESS of REPEATING those patterns TODAY… Is messing with my mind.
But, and this is a big “BUT” people, this pattern-recognition is a GOOD THING. It means I DON’T have to REPEAT the past.
So, today, I share this with you from an authentic place. A place that will hopefully help you reflect and recognize the patterns inside yourself or inside your life RIGHT NOW that that might not be serving you at the highest level.
PLEASE… Recognize those patterns now. Before they sabotage everything you’ve worked for, and everything you love and everything you care about.
DAILY QUESTION & DAILY CHALLENGE
What are the patterns that you’re running in your life TODAY, that you may have run in the past, that SABOTAGED things in your life?
Answer that. And STOP the pattern.
“Mistakes will be repeated until lessons are learned.” – Trevor Crane
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Have it all lose it all. That’s the subject of today’s episode.
And we’re going to jump into patterns that you might be running today that you’ve run in the past that have actually burned the ship down and sabotage things. My guess is if I’m doing it which I just recognize this morning I am. You might be doing it too.
So I hope you like the show.
(INTRO – AUDIO)
Okay I’m on my morning walk and talk and I’m coaching myself with like observations in my life and I’m talking about celebrations. And today was more focused on the challenges that I’m going through right now and an inconsistency in some place that I’m in congruent and another opportunity, Yay, to tell you that I’m screwing something up.
What I also just recognize I did this walk and talk with myself and I recognize that I’ve run this pattern before unfortunately. I’m recognizing it. Like, I recognize the pattern. So now I can stop it. And I get to choose, I can either keep running the pattern and burn the ship down and make a significant or a series of significant mistakes and burn everything down. Or I can make a change. So what am I talking about?
I just realized, okay, so I’ve been bragging about having it all for a while. And that’s I don’t know what other word to use. Other than bragging, I’m like, Wow, I’ve got a great wife. I’ve got a great family. My business is going well. There’s a lot of things I have. I’ve got health, I’ve got my family. It’s all still alive. Like there’s so many things that are great I can’t help but be celebrate and be grateful for it.
And that has not always been this what’s going on in my life. There have been times when there has been some significant struggles and challenges and problems that I’ve had to go after. Now the interesting thing about that is that when we succeed, we tend to party and when we failed we tend to ponder.
So at these times when I had failed in the past and lost everything when I found my bankruptcy like that was really a shitty time. And before that, it was like four years before that I had lost everything as well. Like, I’ve lost everything twice. And I only found the bankruptcy once. But like, I burned something else to the ground, and I just recognize a pattern.
What happened right before I lost, everything was my life was the best ever. That’s actually what today started with. It’s like, Oh, my God, things are so you know, and then I started coaching myself on some of the things that are not so great.
And then I recognized three patterns that I ran back then when I lost everything. When I had a watersports business. Everything was going great, and then I just deconstructed the pattern I ran right before I lost it all.
So my challenge for you is to think about what patterns you have been you’re running in your life today that you may have run in the past, that sabotaged things in your life. I don’t know what else to say I got maybe maybe you didn’t hope you didn’t file a bankruptcy. I hope you haven’t lost everything. I hope you haven’t had those challenges, gigantic issues.
But mate, you probably have you’ve probably had some things in your life that you recognize you’re going to take full responsibility for those things instead of like blaming others, then they were yours.
And so I recognize that for myself. Now what are these patterns on the same so the same thing happened before my bankruptcy? I recognize these three things and then I recognize them in myself today, which is so disgusting.
I heard this quote years ago that mistakes will be repeated until lessons are learned. And I’m disgusted that’s probably the only word to use. I this morning I use the word I’m embarrassed that these patterns have shown up again and I didn’t even know that they were happening and I’m, you could say that I’m being hard on myself. But that’s not the truth.
What I’m being is truthful, at least in this conversation. I’m not saying so let me just share with you the three things that I found. And then we’re going to keep this one short. I’m not going to go into whole bunch of story about it. So what were the patterns back then that I’m running today?
So the first is that I didn’t listen to the voice. I didn’t listen to my intuition. I just knew in my heart and my soul that something needed to change massively and I ignored it because I was comfortable.
So I had a watersports business and things were going well. I was doing the best I’ve ever done. And I was and I wanted to grow it. I grown my one pair sell boat to three and then I had waverunners and then we had one location we have two locations. We have three locations I was operating my water sports business in multiple states. I’d started an adventure tours company things are going really well.
But I I knew in my heart that I was meant for bigger things than working on the beach every day. I knew that I started to look at the best day I had, which was like hanging out with pretty girls on the boat making a lot of money and I hated it.
I started to think of driving the boat is driving a bus, like it was ridiculous. I was in the most beautiful place ever I had everything was going well at a pretty girlfriend. Everything was going really well. But I was so bored. I wasn’t challenged at one stage. It was a challenge to build all the things I had built.
But at that stage it wasn’t and I just wanted out and so what that was the beginning of me just ignoring my intuition and voice and it was also because I was scared to change. I didn’t know how to make a shift. What was I going to go to next to scared that has recognized a fucking third pattern is I was scared.
I was scared about what was next and I didn’t know what to go do so I ignored it pretended it wasn’t there. That was the first thing now I did that again. When I lost everything right before I lost. This is precipitating because I did lose that water sports business. I’ll show those patterns here in a second.
But it happened again when I ran my next business every was at the best ever I had was love I had just had a daughter I was I was able to travel to Fiji and just spend time with Tony Robbins and on his Island and and everything was great I’d leave town I come back and I’d made more money. I had a great team.
I had a I was more successful in that business then I was in the business the my watersports business and yet I was bored and I did and I wanted out. At one stage, I told a business partner of mine that I wanted to sell the business and I knew that I knew I needed to get out of that business. I knew that this environmental protection thing that I knew that I didn’t want to be in it anymore. I didn’t like the people I worked with. I didn’t I didn’t want to do it.
I hate I started to hate it and instead of doing that I got greedy and I was excited about the money so I just said fuck it. I’m not going to sell the company and I someone wanted to buy it for pennies on the dollar. So I thought I had built something amazing but I wanted out. My heart was gone it. I ignored that in my heart for it was gone. And I ignored that intuition. And I just tried to build it and grow it and stay in it. Anyways, that was the beginning of the end.
Now, I’m not running that pattern today where I’m not happy with where I’m at. But I is truth that I’m not following my voice. And my intuition today, my voice and my intuition today is telling me to, to block off time to focus on some marketing and money making activities that I have not been focused on and it is coming from the same precipitating factors. Everything is great.
And so then I have the marketing and money making things are things that are going to be slightly uncomfortable, I’m gonna have to focus on them. I don’t love doing them as much as I love other things. So I’m spending my time doing the things that are comfortable and hanging out with my family and doing fun things.
And that’s where I’m at is in this fun celebratory place instead of like rolling up my sleeves and doing the hard work and it’s not like I won’t do the hard work. I will.It’s not like I don’t enjoy the hard work I do, but it’s just slightly uncomfortable.
So I’m just not there. And I’m not listening to my intuition that saying, hey, read alarm fire man, you have got to shift your focus to these things. This has got to become the priority versus your comfort. And I and I would love to tell you that I just made an epiphany the other day and lived to tell you the things have shifted but they haven’t. And I’ve been super dad it’s great. been super debt, but I but I recognize this pattern.
Okay, so hold on, I got into more story than I wanted to, but I’ll share with you the second pattern. So first of all, I wasn’t listening to the voice inside and that is showing up again. And the precipitating factors here are everything’s frickin awesome and now and then there’s the telltale signs me burning the ship down not because I’m not happy with what I’m doing.
That is far from the case. I’m thrilled with with my profession and how I’m helping people right now. But I have an intuition is telling me I need to go in a slightly different direction. And I’m not jumping on that bandwagon. I’m not putting the focus there.
And so I’m gonna jump to the second thing is that I’m lying, lying today to myself and sometimes to others. And I do this more unintentionally than intentionally, but it’s this. It’s this, it’s this false sense of, I don’t even know what it is. It’s just that, that I’m doing everything, right. And that’s absolutely not the case.
And back when I had the water sports business, it was a dramatic why I had a guy that I was working with, who was kind of, I didn’t like him, and he would lie to me every day. And it was such a bald faced lie. It was like someone would call me on the beach and they’d say, john just lied to you. Like he completely told you something that is not true. That did not happen.
And so but in return, I would pay him a very nice favor and I would just lie to him back so every single day he would lie to me and I would lie to him and then I was lying to myself in that context and so poorly shit it was lies killing me and sabotage and shit. And then it came up again. years later when I have my next business and the burn that sucker to the ground. I didn’t, I didn’t.
There was someone I didn’t like. So I didn’t want to talk to him. And I thought, you know, what, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I’m like, Oh my god, I’m so proud of myself for coming up with that. So, but what the truth is, is I didn’t tell him the truth. I didn’t communicate with him.
Well, what ended up burning my business to the ground when I lost everything in the bankruptcy and holy crap, that was a bad one, to have lost all that it started with a lie. It started with me not telling the truth to him and the truth to the people around me.
And I tried to live with silence. I thought, well, you know, if I don’t say anything, I’m not lying. Bullshit. I was lying to him. I was out of integrity with myself and with me, listening to my intuition, and I was lying and I burned the whole thing down because I did not communicate with him.
Well, he thought I was fucking him, was not doing anything wrong. I was not trying to be evil or mean or anything to him. But he thought, if you’re not talking to me, you must be doing something wrong.
And so then and then that precipitated the end. So he took action to protect himself and his family because I didn’t have the courage to tell the truth. And today’s is an attempt to tell the truth about where I’m at right down today that I’m not listening to the voice in my intuition and I’m lying to myself that everything is the best when it’s not.
I’m not being real about the pain that I have about where I’m at and and my own satisfaction in regards to the impact, in the change that I want to contribute. I’m not telling the truth around that. Not to myself. Never publicly rarely.
And there’s a sound like a big lie to you. Maybe not. Maybe Maybe you’re like your new your beat you fuck you trust but I think it may be the biggest lie I’ve ever told because this lie is holding me in this position and it is not growing my business today is not where I want it to be. The impact I want is not where I want it to be maybe very specific. The money I’m making is not where I want it to be. And and it’s just a shift of focus.
So here’s the third thing I recognized that’s a pattern. It’s not like I’m not focused on a bunch of great shit today. Holy cow. Like I am so grateful for the things that I do. Like I truly am a super dad. I think I’m think I’m a great dad. I spent all this time with my daughter with my son. I’m constantly focused on becoming a better father. I do a great job communicating with my wife. I know I need to improve that and worship her more and be a better husband.
But I’m also focused on that focus on exercise every day. This is a phenomenal piece, I’m focused on fun and focus on adventure. I’m focused on finding the right mentors, like I’m doing a lot of things awesome. And, and that’s great for me to focus on. But my intuition is telling me to focus on a part of my life, just simple, some some simple things, not difficult or hard things.
So marketing and money making things that are making me out of integrity to my clients to some of my partners. And that’s the big lie because it’s hidden by fucking frosting. It’s hidden by whipped cream and a cherry on top.
It’s like I got a big fucking sundae and there’s whipped cream and a cherry and ice cream and all this fucking stuff. And my, my wife has chocolate moment but daughter better be chocolate, my dogs chocolate, my my son’s vanilla and my wife is strawberry or whatever the hell and like, I’m a big fucking banana on there, and there’s nothing but with cream and sow and, and, and a cherry on top.
And I’ve got a podcast to boot and I’ve written some books. So I’m all proud of myself that I’ve done done such a contribution and that fucking banana split that I just described on the little crazy too. So there’s nuts sprinkled on top.
That little fucking bite of ice cream is like all I’m focused on when there’s a fucking world out there. I don’t even know the analogy. Like there’s a goddamn The moon is fucking ice cream. And I’m like, proud of this little scoop. And I should be proud of that little scoop because who doesn’t like a banana split?
Or at least some kind of ice cream or some kind of sweet frickin whatever your thing is you. I have met people that don’t like ice cream crazy people but I’ve met them so whatever your thing is, and there’s this whole world like the whole world is frickin I can do anything I want I can be anything I want and I am playing the game I am playing right now.
And I am ignoring my intuition I am ignoring the voice inside this is hard to say now am I focused on do I listened to some of it sure. I listened to the stuff that I like listen to the stuff that’s easy I listened to the stuff that are are my habits and patterns and rituals right now that served me massively but to tell you that that is having a ripple effect on two in my entire business. And my entire life is a lie. And I won’t do it, not anymore.
And so I have a pending coaching call with one of my mentors and I wanted to talk about A, B and C, A, B and C and have them evaluate data that these things in my business in my marketing and give me some great advice.
And I’m and I was like fuck it I’m not gonna do it I’m not going to do it because I’ve already coached myself around this I need to do this I need to do a, b and c I already know I already know I need to start doing a, b and c and stop doing XYZ, whatever those things are, not going to get into them.
But let’s just say I know those things and I’m right. I don’t think there’s any doubt. I need to do those things and stop doing those other things and I don’t need you or him or any mentor to frickin tell me that those are done and I was gonna cancel the appointment because I was like, well, you know what I need to I need to get those things done.
And then I’ll talk to them because I want to make sure I get feedback around something that I really need and I’d like to be but instead Okay, so instead I’m going to have this conversation with them conversations in about a week, 10 days, something like that. Report how much of a kick in the dick that is.
And I and my goal, my hope is that I’ve turned that shit around and have focused it’s just it’s just we’re just talking about focus here. I’ve been focusing run the ship right in front of me when I should just turn my body a little bit and focus on that shit is so close.
Like I’m I’m not bitching and whining right now I’m trying to kick my own ass and I’m trying to share this with you from an authentic place so that you can recognize a pattern inside yourself or inside your life that you might be running right now that is not serving you at the highest level. And if you look back into your past like I just did at other times when things fell apart and things got broken.
I want you to recognize those patterns before they show up and sabotage everything. I am not sabotaging everything right now. But if this pattern continues and it goes unnoticed, think I would that at the best of when things get great those three different times in my life than one of them’s today.
Everything that precipitated the storm was awesome. Like a perfect life. Me celebrating and partying and shifting my focus not to evil shit but just to the wrong shit and the voice inside is always talking to me. And my intuition is always trying to help me and guide me and whatever it is that you believe is guiding you.
And I challenge you to look deep and try to find the patterns that you might be running right now that are repeating themselves from things you’ve done in the past because if you read, recognize a pattern we don’t have to get all. I actually today wasn’t that much of a ball buster. It was a it was a realization. It was a wake up call.
And it’s something that I can say thank you for because I now get to shift the pattern like I didn’t know I was doing it. There’s so many great things to go on that I can focus on and focus on those things. I’m just not focused on the thing right behind me.
The other day, my daughter was crying and she was focused on all the stuff that was making her sad. And so I held up my hand in front of her face trying to help a break a pattern and I said, honey do you see the front of my hand? And she was like, all in a ball like upset about something.
And like how did you see the front of my hand and I’m like, okay, I want you to imagine all the stuff that you love. And the front of my hand right in the palm of my hand also said you love and some fun stuff or something fun that we did this year and we went to the Bahamas like that was fun. You have that you know.
Do you love me? And do you love your mom? And do you love your little brother? And like you have that stuff I want you to put on that there. And how about what’s what’s the video game that you like? Like, isn’t that right? You know, don’t you have an iPad? And can’t you play the video game like anytime you want.
So I put those few things on my hand. And I’m like, so that’s all the stuff that you could be grateful for that you could be focused on right now, all of that, but instead you just can’t see those things. Because when I turned my hand and I showed her the back of my hand, and I said, honey, what instead of seeing those things like look, I just turned my hand away. Can you see the palm of my hand?
Now, like, are those things still around like are they still do you do know that it’s just on the other side, and that what’s standing between you and and and all of that stuff that you could be grateful for? And they could feel good about that. The only thing standing between it is just the back of my hand.
Now on the back of my hand, you’re focused on what you’re focused on, you’re sad, you’re focused on you’re tired, you focused on you just hurt your knee, whatever the thing was, and I’m like, but let me I’m going to turn my hand real quick. Did the love go away or you just focus on something different and I said in the problem is funny.
I’m like well you’re focused on the back of my hand and then when I did is I reached out and I slapped her face not hard really, just very delicately because I didn’t want but I mean, I reached out with my hand on the palm of my hand and the and I slapped her face very gently and very playful, but I was trying to shift her pattern and focus.
And I see that that’s what this is for me. Like I don’t have to bust my balls down to you know I’m a real big loser here that’s not what this is about. I didn’t want to tell them have my daughter all upset either so now we’ve got this new thing where she’s focused on the wrong thing I show her the back of my hand and slapped her with the palm very gently.
I’m not abusing my kid but the cool thing is, is she immediately broke out into laughter and it made her realize how silly she was being about how close her gratitude could be about all the things that she could have.
And I see it a slightly different for me is that the focus for me just needs to be on on the thing that not necessarily gratitude but on the things that need to fire me up to do the things I gotta do. They’re not hard they’re not it’s it’s just it’s just a slightly different focus. It’s a focus on the hustle at those times that I lost everything.
And I had these big problems and I had to fight to win back and had to start something new and something different I fuckin went to work and I did the hard thing and I had no time I was in survival it was it was it was live or die and so at those times I was willing to do frickin anything and I and I did the hard work and I’m and I had no time to fuck around with the house Pappy shit. I had to go.
And when I burned everything to the ground, I ignored that shit. I ignored it. I ignored it. I ignored it. I ignored it. I died to pretend it. It wasn’t there. I got upset. And then. And then Africa, and then the whole, and I sabotaged fucking everything.
So today was not as brief as I might be in sharing this with you. But their insights that I think I know for me, will serve me massively moving forward. And I have to make a shift, I have to make a massive shift so that I can make a massive difference. And I can change the pattern that I’ve been on.
And that’s all I got for you. I’m going to try to shut this one down show up tomorrow. And I’m going to share with you my feedback on my progress. I’m going to keep sharing that with you.
But I’ve got some new cool things that I have been working on that I want to share with you about publishing and about a few different things that are really insightful and I think you’re going to love it.
So I’ll see you tomorrow on another daily dose of greatness quest.
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