FACE YOUR FEARS
(Lessons from an 11-year old girl)
EPISODE 51 of a Daily Dose of Greatness Quest with Trevor Crane
“Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.” – Will Smith
What’s an old fear, that you used to have, that now you realize wasn’t real?
What’s a fear you have now, that’s holding you back, that might not be real?
Write down your thoughts in your success journal.
Think of a fear that you used to have, that you used to be really scared of but is now non-existent.
Write it down in your journal.
Then think of something that right now you’re currently scared of. Ask yourself the question about whether that fear is real or not. That you should face your fear and act, even though you might be scared.
On today’s show, you’ll hear how to deal with fear from my daughter, 11 year old, Phoenix Rose Crane who is also a 10x bestselling author.
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Welcome to another daily dose of greatness quest. This is Trevor Crane and I am here with my co-host today, Phoenix Rose Crane.
Trevor: Hi, Phoenix.
Phoenix: Hi, Phoenix.
Today’s episode is about overcoming fear. I know you’re gonna love this show…
(INTRO – AUDIO)
Trevor: All right. We just got done climbing through the mountains in Yosemite. And we went rock climbing a little bit. And Phoenix, talk to me a little bit about what you were scared of today.
Phoenix: I had been dead.
Trevor: How’s your scared of?
Trevor: Okay, now tell what we’ve talked a lot today, about the different things you’ve been scared of and how you said you didn’t like to be pushed. Tell everybody like what you learned today about facing your fears.
Phoenix: I learned that, let me think. I learned that you don’t hold on to the branches when they’re dead.
Trevor: I thought you’re gonna share, like, a really amazing lesson but that is a lesson. If you’re climbing and you grab a dead branch and it starts, you start to fall down, don’t keep holding on to it. That’s an amazing lesson. How about, and by the way, this is Phoenix, she’s 11 years old. She’s a 10x number one best-selling author.
Phoenix: And I climbed with the cast on.
Trevor: Oh, that’s true. She has a broken arm right now so she was climbing. Now Phoenix talk a little bit. You said that you didn’t like to be pushed outside your comfort zone. But then we just established that all the fun stuff you’ve done in your life is typically because we pushed you to do something fun. So tell everybody a little bit about what you think about fear. Is it real or is it pretend?
Phoenix: It’s real in the moment, but once you look back on it, it doesn’t seem that bad unless it happened like an hour ago, then it kind of does. But if you look back on it later in your life, then it doesn’t seem like it’s a big deal. So you shouldn’t make a big deal out of it until, well you shouldn’t make big deal out of it so that you don’t have to be unhappy.
Trevor: Right. And so, when you are doing something new and you start to experience fear.
Phoenix: I almost died today. I’m a survivor.
Trevor: You did not almost die today, but that was the fear I think, is that right?
Phoenix: Nope, it’s the fact.
Trevor: That’s a fact. At least it’s only an hour ago, so it’s still pretty fresh. But what did you establish? Like should you face your fears? Are they real? Should you just not worry about it. What do you think?
Phoenix: If your fear is dying then don’t face it because then you die.
Trevor: When they’re scared of dying, they’ll just die? That’s what you think?
Phoenix: Well if their fear is of doing anything that’s dangerous because you might die.
Trevor: So that’s really important. This is important, important distinction. You get scared of a whole bunch of things because you’re thinking you’re going to get hurt or die. And then you just told our audience that you look at it later and you go, “Well that probably wasn’t that big of a deal.”
Phoenix: I didn’t.
Trevor: Yeah, that’s pretty much what you said
Phoenix: Let me tell a story. Before I heard this story, I thought that I just wanted to ride a bike and it was no big deal. You know, no big deal. I want to ride a bike but he’s evil. He forced me to ride a bike. I like riding bikes now.
Trevor: Okay, so that’s a very confusing story.
Phoenix: I was scared then. But now that I look back on it, riding a bike is so easy. And it’s like a life lesson and he forced me, which I’m happy for but also not happy for at the same time. But, yay.
Trevor: Okay. So I think what you’re saying is that you thought riding a bike would be easy. Then you found out it was a little bit hard. Then I help you ride a bike, even though you were scared. And I forced you. That’s great, sounds like a great father. And then you figured out how to ride the bike and now you love it and it’s one of those life lessons and you’re glad you did.
Trevor: Now, did you ever crash your bike?
Trevor: And what happened when you fell off? Did you get hurt?
Trevor: And ketchup your hands or something like that? Did you get hurt? Sometimes?
Phoenix: I squished ketchup on my hands.
Trevor: Squished ketchup. Okay, that’s really yeah, I don’t think that’s what happened. But what happened, what did we talk about before you went on that bike ride? Did we talk about what the..
Phoenix: I don’t remember.
Trevor: You don’t remember? Are you kidding me? You’re telling everybody the story about when you learn to ride bikes.
Phoenix: I’m not telling them. I’m telling a story that you told me. I’m saying that, Robin just said that I won’t remember riding bikes so easily because I was scared and you forced me.
Trevor: That’s right. So you had a friend or a father, in this case, who was your mentor, who helped you push you past your fear and then we talked about how you might crash your bikes. I asked you at the time. I said, “Phoenix, it is the first time you’ve ever ridden the bike and you’re about to ride without my help, what is the likelihood that you’re going to crash?”
Phoenix: 100%. I don’t remember but maybe that’s what I said.
Trevor: That’s pretty much what you said.
Phoenix: Did I say 99?
Trevor: Nope. You said, “Daddy, of course, I’m not going to be very good at it. Of course I’ll probably crash.” Then I asked you a question before we even rode the bike. And then I asked you question about if you’re, if after you crash, you should stop riding your bike. You know, because if you want to just quit, you might want to quit. And I asked you whether or not you were going to quit or if you wanted to get back on the bike you remember that at all?
Trevor: You know what you told me?
Trevor: You said, “Daddy, of course, I need to get back on the bike or I’ll never learn to ride.
Phoenix: Did I say all that? It doesn’t sound like me.
Trevor: You were, you lectured me about it the way that I asked you so.
Trevor: You’re always pretty much weird out. So here’s my challenge to you today. So if you’re still listening to this amazing podcast today, then what I want to challenge you to do is to think of something you used to be scared of, a big fear that you used to have that now is like something that is almost non-existent. It’s just you’re not even scared of it you do it really easily.
Phoenix: Like that butterflies.
Trevor: Really? You’re scared to death of butterflies? It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. Hold on. Let me just give everybody a lesson so they can go have an awesome day, okay?
So I want you to think of a fear that used to be really real to you, something you should be really scared of. And then think about like how it’s just not, just journal it. Write it down in your journal about like how that is, what that memory was that you used to be really scared of.
And then I want you to think of something that right now you’re currently scared of. That it triggers a lot of fear inside of you. And ask yourself the question about whether or not that fear is real or not. And it might be real, like my daughter just said in the minute, in the moment, but if you move through it and get past it, then you’re gonna be fine and maybe that it’s just nothing, you know.
That’s it. That’s my, that’s all I got for you today. Very interesting, very interesting show today. So make today magnificent. Make sure you write down in your journal the fear that you used to have. That you used to have that you’re really scared of. And now, maybe one that you have right today that you should face your fear and act, even though you might be scared.
All right, that’s all we got for you today. See you tomorrow on another daily dose great quest.
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