DON’T BE A DICK
EPISODE 170 of a Daily Dose of Greatness Quest with Trevor Crane
When someone is rude to you, how do you respond? Do you FIGHT? Confront them? Do you retreat? Do you judge yourself?
When someone is being a dick… here’s the important thing: DON’T BE A DICK yourself.
And ask yourself where in your life are you being a dick?
DAILY QUESTION & DAILY QUOTE
Where in your life are you being a dick? Where in your life do you need to clear up a communication (or miscommunication) with someone in your life?
Another way of putting this, is who do you owe an APOLOGY? Cause you were a dick?
“You can’t recognize something in somebody else that you can’t already see in yourself.” – Trevor Crane
Don’t be a dick.
And think about your relationships, and who you “accidentally” were a dick to, and apologize. Clean it up.
(I’m including some SCREENSHOTS of Mr. Dick, and 2 other people who replied to me in COOL ways.)
HERE’S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO NEXT:
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Okay, today’s episode of greatness quest is going to be called, DON’T BE A DICK. Let me go ahead and change the lighting here to the bits. That’s a little bit better.
So today’s a video episode. If you are listening on audio, then you can go ahead and check this out on YouTube. You can check this out on trevorcrane.tv and look at the episode.
I think you’re gonna like today’s show, because there’s probably someplace in your life that you’re being a dick. I just noticed this from someone else. And then I had to go ahead and look in the mirror little bit.
So I know you’re gonna love the show.
(INTRO – AUDIO)
So I’m shooting this in my office today. And I was just going over some emails the last couple of days. And so something came up where I’ve had where someone was a total dick to me in a response and what that and so it didn’t really trigger me, I you know.
Because here’s my question for you. Like when somebody is rude when somebody is addicting you that’s what we’re calling today. How do you respond? Do you react? Or do you respond? Do you immediately want to punch him in the deck? You immediately want to mess with them or you’re just willing to, like, let it let it roll off your back.
I’ve been really surprised to see some of my friends and mentors, the way they interact with people who are are rude or or completely mean or nasty or haters. And sometimes I’ve seen my friends and mentors fight massively. And I’m like, it doesn’t really make any sense to me. Like why would I care so when someone is going to be rude to me, or a jerk or a dick? I typically just kind of a get to get them out of my life.
I remember when I broke up with my wife or my wife, my daughter’s mother one of the challenges was we weren’t getting along anymore and so when she was a nice to me when she was rude I sold to stay in this situation.
So I am sure that you have similar set of circumstances where you have somebody in your life that isn’t really, that isn’t nice to you or says something that you don’t like on a regular basis. Or maybe you’ve got somebody who’s responding to you in marketing or with whatever that you put out, and you get this feedback. How are you going to respond?
Now my challenge to you is to not be a dick. And I’m going to show you what I mean. I’m doing this on video right now. So I can share my screen. So let me do that. I want to give you an example. This is hilarious to me. Let me just share my desktop so you can see everything so you should see me let me go ahead and stop my video real quick.
So we have just the screen so I want you to see this now this is somebody responded to me just the other day and I thought was completely being a jerk. So this is a guy that I think was being a dick and I covered his name because I’m not trying to bust his balls and I was truly going to just delete this like I don’t want to. I don’t want to anywhere.
Our ministers describe it like this guy has been spamming me for months, I’m on a LinkedIn account. And I know that he pulled my email from that LinkedIn account, because I can tell that certain people are marketing to me from there. So he didn’t give my permission to start sending me emails, but he’s been sending them very consistently.
So I want you to look at the dates here. We’ve got July 31 are August 7, August 7, August 10, August 27, August 29, like he’s been very consistent, persistent with sending emails now, I really never cared about the emails that he was sending. This wasn’t content that was valuable to me. But I’m always interested in what people’s marketing messages are.
So I let it roll for a little while. And then I was going back through my stuff just the other day and I thought, why don’t I look at this and see how can I respond and how can I respond in such a way that I might be able to build a relationship and maybe there’s a marketing I could do to this person and get a client or something.
So I came up with a little message I want you to see my response here. So check this out. I responded back to this person Hey, quick question. I’ve been getting and reading your emails for a while right now. And I keep wondering if you have written a book yet. Did I miss it on your website?
And I keep thinking that you’re doing such a great job of sending messages. But no book. You seem so awesome. I’m just curious. be great. Trevor. So now his response to me instead of a very short period of time, like what was the window just like within eight hours or whatnot was pretty good.
He said, If you did your homework instead of spamming you know, I’ve already been published by real publishers. Now guys, this guy is a dick like and I unfortunately, things like this, don’t trigger me so that I was actually grateful to experience that because it didn’t trigger me but he’s accusing me of the same damn thing that he is actually doing this. It’s just insane to me.
And why on earth would he burn a bridge? Be a dick? Like I was nice. I was asking questions and this is the guy that put me on his list and he’s just spamming me like spamming his entire list and he’s got it he’s got some kind of software that pulled my email off of LinkedIn.
And now he’s messaging me his newsletter that I never asked for never opted in for don’t give a crap about and have never complained never been never anything and then I give one the thoughtful message to him and I’m like hey I’m curious now did I go to his website and look at this stuff? No I didn’t but I’ve never seen talk about it in his emails and stuff and so did I miss it on your website is accurate? I was asking a question? Did I miss it?
And I’m actually not spamming him. I’m just assuming you didn’t have a book because I’d never seen him talk about it in any of his marketing so I was like you know what i’m just going to take a wild stab in the dark and just say something nice now why I’m frickin earth with this stupid dumb ass like accuse me of the same thing he is doing.
Holy baloney, look at this. Look at all these messages. I can’t take a screenshot of the umpteen frickin messages he sent me without my permission or approval and I’ve never said boo about it and the first time I respond to him with a genuine me spending him sending him a message he’s a dick and then he goes ahead and says that he’s assuming that because he has been published by a real publisher whatever the fuck that means. I have absolutely no idea.
You publish a book or you don’t publish a book I don’t know the difference between a book you have a book or you have a book either I think I’m holding it in my hand is it this or is it that and so there is a better way that you can respond. So check this out. Oh gosh, I thought I had it up here.
So that same day I was going through my emails and again and I have other people that have put me on their similar list and they’re sending me messages now I didn’t protect their names here to protect the innocent because these people were super cool.
So check this out. I got the same message from Rocco. Ramen Ella, and he’s been messaging me for a long time I never asked to hear from them but this is you and I’m not necessarily interested in this but i thought you know what he’s been messaging for me a while let me send him the same message so send them the same message and I don’t need to read it for you but look how he responded?
What kind of person do you want to be when somebody when somebody connects with you? Hi Trevor thank you for the email and yes I have written a book titled the lug nuts an amazing five star book I hope you enjoy it rocky what the one like that is a nice email.
And here’s the thing that I’m finding here of the couple of people that responded to me this David Mitchell off responded to me as well. Like people who do marketing and understand it’s important to communicate. Now I’m on his list. Somehow he put me on there and I didn’t ask to show up. I think it’s going to an email account. I don’t track anymore unless I’m confused. I might be confused about them. You see this one here?
Maybe, maybe not. I’m not sure what was really cool is that they responded nicely. So check this out. This is David and he, I sent him a similar message, almost the same thing with a couple of words different. And he says, Thanks for the kind words. Here’s a link to my latest book regards.
So do you guys my comment here is Who do you want to be? Now most of the people that I connect with and interact with are cool for people. So I’m sure you are amazing. You’re delicious. It’s amazing.
But here’s my question for you today. Where in your life are you being a dick? And let me go ahead and start my video again. And stop sharing is only to share this quick start video because as I was preparing for today’s podcast, I was thinking as much as I’m going to be throwing this guy under the bus for being a dick.
My real question is for myself, like if I don’t think there’s anything you can recognize in another human that you can also see in yourself. So that means good or bad. And I was thinking okay, now where in my life am I being a dick? Where Who am I being rude to? Who am I not communicating well with?
And I’m grateful that I don’t know that I haven’t done it with intention. I don’t have a big list of people that I think I’m being a jerk to. Some people might not feel that way. But I can’t control that. So I was thinking about it.
And I as I was sitting here getting ready to talk you, I wrote it down on my list. That’s my really bad handwriting. And it says, nanny so our nannies name is Allie. She works 40 hours a week with us, helping us with our baby.
And you typically when I’m doing videos and stuff, there’s all kinds of baby paraphernalia in the background. And she’s amazing. She helps us prepare meals, she takes care of the kids she gives us an option for date night and I noticed that she’s kind of sensitive when we communicate.
And sometimes she I know she gets upset when I speak with her and how I respond to her and if I like a meal or don’t like your meal, or if I asked her to do something slightly differently and I realized that the measure of communication is not how cute it and how amazing it is, I think it is when I tell you something, the measure of communication is about how it’s received by the other person.
So as I answered this question for myself, I decided that I owed Ali and apologies. So right before I recorded this, I went into the other room and I pulled her aside and I told her how much I appreciate her and how much how grateful I am that she’s been helping us.
And we really are quite lucky to have her and I just took a moment to appreciate her and try to clean up any miscommunication that there may be. So I did that also.
So that I can go ahead and tell you that I’m actually using what I share with you and I think that it is valuable so this is a powerful question for you. Where in your life do you need to clear up a communication? And I’m pretty open and raw and honest with with people and so I have few pending situations where I feel like I’m being rude to somebody. Right. Oh, and apology.
But as I asked the question, and I’m guessing if I’ve dug deeper, I’d find more people that I could apologize to. I have no doubt. And my choice, I would much prefer to not be a dick. I don’t know about you. But I got a couple of cool responses from people who I would like to stay in contact with.
The other guy, he’s going off my list, and I don’t need to argue he’s gonna be I’m going to unsubscribe from this stuff. I wanted to fight with him. I don’t need to argue with him. I don’t need to make him wrong. I don’t need to throw them under the bus here and share with us name. I don’t need to call them out on social media. I don’t need to Russell I don’t need to have that fight. He’s just somebody that I don’t want to communicate with. And it’s so much easier for me to just let it goes.
The second part of this is if somebody is being addicted to you, how do you choose to respond? Are you going to react and be triggered because they did something that you don’t like or they said something that you don’t like or are you going to think about it and process it and like choose your triggers and maybe who cares? This is somebody that you don’t have to hang out with.
Unless it’s someone like your ex, where you got to figure out how to better communicate with them. And I might challenge you that that’s a place now I’m thinking about it. I could probably clean up a little bit of communication with my ex, not ex wife. But then my daughter’s mother want to be clear when we married one woman, she’s the perfect woman for me. Hope you’ve got that in your life, the woman or man or dog, whatever it is.
And that’s it for today. So there’s a little bit longer than I wanted it to be. Seems like I can’t break these down into three to five minutes ever. I always talk to you for like 15 or 20 but I hope you got some value from this.
And please give us a like in a thumbs up in a comment and share and invite somebody else here and do all of that and then join us on another episode of greatness quest tomorrow I’m going to bring you something else phenomenal. I just get a new webinar and training in this room. And it was amazing out of this world. I can’t wait to share with you the new stuff we’ve got coming out for you.
So make today magnificent.
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