ATTRACT AND KEEP THE PERFECT PARTNER
EPISODE 79 of a Daily Dose of Greatness Quest with Trevor Crane
“BECOME THE PERSON YOU WERE MEANT TO BE, TO ATTRACT THE LIFE YOU DESIRE.” – Trevor Crane
If you were to MEET yourself 5 years from now, how different will you be?
Will you stand taller? Have more happiness? Be more fit? Be in a better relationship?
Who do you need to BECOME to make this a reality?
To have the BUSINESS, the BODY, the RELATIONSHIP and the PARENT that you want to become?
Describe the PERSON you want to be with.
1. WHAT YOU WANT
2. WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT (and won’t stand for)
Consider, EVERYTHING about them: Personality-wise? Physically? Behaviors? Everything…
Next… describe who you would need to BECOME to attract and keep that person.
1. WHO YOU NEED TO BECOME
2. WHAT YOU WILL NOT STAND FOR
Today, I talk about how to attract and keep the perfect partner.
And I’m in a unique position where I think I can actually talk about this because I’ve been in the wrong relationships and now in a phenomenal relationship. And I’ve got what I think is the perfect partner.
And I share the recipe of what it is that I did to to find her, attract her and keep her.
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Good morning. Now not sure if it’s more than for you. But this is the first time I’ve used my voice this morning. So for me, it’s good morning.
And today’s subject is about how to attract and keep the perfect partner. And I’m in a unique position where I think I can actually talk to you about this because I’ve been in the wrong relationships and now in a phenomenal relationship. And I’ve got what I think is the perfect partner. And I’ll give you the formula, the recipe of what it is that I did to to find her attract her and keep her.
I know you’re gonna love the show.
(INTRO – AUDIO)
So years ago I was at a Tony Robbins event, a lot of my stories talk to sit share with you times that I started with yet a Tony Robbins event so that’s interesting. I if you’re not traveling around the country to to work with your mentors and learn from them then I think you probably should because I realized that I was just in Las Vegas yesterday. I’m in Huntington Beach, California today and I’m attending workshops and trainings and I’m always trying to improve myself.
So by the way, I mean that’s what I really wanted to talk about today. But I just as an aside, you got to keep working on yourself. So maybe that’s exactly what I wanted to share with you today. And that is exactly relevant to you finding, attracting and keeping your ideal perfect partner.
Now, maybe you’re already in a relationship. When I was, first met Tony and talked about this subject with him. And I say that because I was at an event with thousands of people and I felt like I was talking right to Tony because he was talking just to me and as I kind of think that you probably feel when you attend to movie it’s just for you. When you listen to your trainer or a speaker or you’re reading a book it’s just to you so I’m just an idea.
So I was in a relationship and Tony was talking to me about how he had been in a bad relationship or relationship where he necessarily bad. But after a while he got divorced. He was not happy man about that. He had an identity that said that you don’t quit. And he loved the woman that he was with. He had children with her. Her name was Becky. But it wasn’t in the right relationship. It wasn’t working for his soul. It wasn’t working for her wasn’t working for the kids. And so we had to tell the truth and and to get out of that relationship.
And it was scary because at the time I was in a relationship with the gal who I really cared about really long, amazing now, but when I did this little assessment, I realized that I wasn’t necessarily in the right relationship. But it wasn’t just that it wasn’t like oh, I was with the wrong bitch to get me some new woman. That is not what it was.
It was more that I realized that I needed to become the man that could attract and keep her and maybe I became the man that I knew I should be that I would elicit that in the woman I was with, it wasn’t just, oh, you pick the wrong chick, okay. Now, I don’t know when you’re in a relationship or not, but I’ll give you the strategy that he used with me. And then it worked really well. And I’ll tell you a little story about how I attracted, finally found Robyn. Right.
So, the first thing we did is he said, you know, if you’re going to pick a partner, or pick an employee or pick somebody who’s going to be in your life, like oftentimes the way that we make these choices are about proximity, and then the years like who’s close to you, which is not necessarily the best like criteria, you know. There’s a pretty big world out there. And now the with the world of the internet, you know, we have an option to go ahead and select from a pretty big pool but the way typically people pick a relationship or those are going to be in the business for those who are around that. And I had to accept. That’s how I found the women I had been with. They were sitting right next to me. No, not really big search was done.
So he said, “Trev, what you need to do is pull out a journal and write down and describe the partner that you want to be with. If you’re going to hire an employee, write down the characteristics that you would like in that employee. How would you like them to be personality wise? How would you like them to look? How would you like them to behave? What are the characteristics of this person?
And so the interesting thing about human nature is that when you ask somebody what they want, and I don’t know if you’re going to, you know, pick a supermodel for your ideal avatar of who it is you want to be with that’s fine, whatever it is you want to choose. But the interesting thing is once you get past the hair and the eyes and the boobs and the butt whatever he also does that you’re looking for physically, more important stuff keeps it it’s not just that as humans, it feels like what’s more important to us oftentimes, or not, what’s more important what pops up when you ask somebody what they want is what they don’t want with this or thinking of is the last relationship with the last douche bag they were with. And they’re like, I don’t want this, I don’t want that. I don’t want this.
So at the same time in your journal, pull out a, make a list of all of the things that you absolutely do not want and will not stand for. And so, these are the two lists. Now I liked making this list because I can imagine the perfect physical specimen of my woman, right. And I was with a gal who’s beautiful and had a great body and stuff like that. That really wasn’t the issue. It was the personality characteristics and things that I wanted that were in line with our passions and the things that I wanted intimately so wrote all that stuff down. I wrote all the stuff down that I didn’t like about the bitch I was with or the people I had been within the past actually an easier list. And this made me feel pretty good. I was like, this is pretty good. You know, I tone All I gotta do the sounds is right. This wisdom, it sounds very law of attraction.
But then he gave me a harder list. And I kind of alluded to that at the beginning of this, this talk is that I had to make a list of who I needed to become. Who did I need to become to attract this woman? And then what were the two lists for me the things that I want the things that I wanted to become who I needed to be but then the more painful one is who I needed to not be what I wasn’t willing to stand in my for myself. And this was a list that I actually looked at and said, shit, I’m not this guy right now. Not the guy that’s gonna attract and keep this woman even the woman that I was with and I realized that I had a lot of frickin work to do.
So anyway, that’s the homework. My challenge to you was to make these to list the list of who did you want to be with. Define the this woman and then or man and then the list of who you need to become at the same time. Okay so now let’s do this now I tell you that within a week our relationship had transformed and though and then I found my dream moment. That’s not what happened. I started doing the work as I’m doing the work to try to become the man that was going to attract this woman. And I forgot about the list. Life went on, you know. I had this business I had that business because years later I had was in love with a gal thought that she might be the one we ended up having a baby. Two years after that things were not happy Pappy he might probably know this already. But so I we got we split up. She left me Like I’ve said before, probably a lot of good reasons. But that was not the right relationship for me.
And when I was at my lowest this was the craziest part about all this when I was at my lowest now maybe it wasn’t my lowest because what I was after I broke up with this gal and she took my two year old daughter away from me and I was homeless because that’s what happens when you don’t have a home and I was staying at people’s friends houses that wasn’t homeless on the beach or homeless or no, in a parking garage or something like that. I was homeless staying in a friend’s house.
But what happened is, when I was trying to close out all of my failures, I took responsibility for everything in my life is when things really started to transform. I look in the mirror and somehow through all that chaos and all of the transaction and all the things that have happened in the relationships I’d been in for all that hard time that the time that I really was not looking for another woman, Robyn showed up. A matter within a couple of weeks of breaking up with my ex. We didn’t get married, but my daughter’s mother.
And I met Robyn and had an immediate attraction to her. And I said this is not the right time. I told her and actually told her all the things that that I had gone through. I didn’t try to pretend that I was something I wasn’t. I just gave her all my dirty laundry and and in strangely enough, when I shared with her my $2.2 million bankruptcy and the two year old girl and that I had and the two weeks I’ve been broken up from her mother and blah, blah blah.
Never even kissed her the first day, first time we connected and met because I didn’t want to suck it up and it just didn’t seem anywhere close to being appropriate. We spend spoke for two months and kind of chatted on the phone until we finally went on our first date and got together now I’d say the rest is history and I married her on November 11, 2011 that’s an 11. 11.11 date for you. My wife was smart, because I sometimes have a challenge remembering numbers. And this one is just one number 11.11.11.
But what happened is at one stage, we almost broke up because I was scared. And I had a little private consultation with Tony Robbins that I do on my little walks that I do sometimes. And I need to talk to one of my mentors and I call them up. You know, I think I’ve shared with you before I do this like a crazy person. And I make up my little mastermind team in my head.
And in this case, I was just talking to tone and talking to him talking to myself. That makes sense. I’ve got a whole podcast where I talk about how do this in a crazy way, but I was talking to Tony and he asked me some great questions and I went back and he told me to write in my journal and from the journal I’d had for years before I just happen to be carrying listening on this.
You know, I like I said I’d lost my house and lost all my stuff. I only brought some belongings up a little, some clothes and I guess a couple of journals and I found the journal right made all those entries and I read through them and Robin was basically 99.9% of all the things I wanted and almost nothing all the things I did and I called up Robyn and after that, forgive me make sure we didn’t break up.
Alright, so that’s my little story. Now with this amazing woman. We have an amazing four month old son at this stage my daughter is now 11.
I’m walking on the beach in Huntington Beach, California. I’m about to do my morning run I’m going to go hang out with some new group of friends and mentors and I met through a warrior’s way with wake up warrior which is something Garrett white started. My life is a completely different in a different places it was when I originally made that list.
I’m a different man today to attract and keep that woman I think still likes me and we’re having a pretty great life and I get to do what I love every day I get to live anywhere really I get to do almost anything that I want to do and we’re creating a significant amount of good in the world. I’m working with a woman who we get to stand side by side like I like there’s just so many things that are great about the life that I have today.
And I honestly believe that it started in that seminar when I pulled out that journal and Tony was talking to me and I was in a relationship that was good maybe it was even in a relationship at the time that was great but it wasn’t the right one for me and I wasn’t the guy the dude I needed to be. Maybe there’s more than one person out there for you. And if you are, if you become the person that you need to be maybe that will transform your relationship.
I’ll share one more thing before we end today’s show, which is that when I went to a relationship development seminar after I had done that old journal writing exercise with a different gal, I was at this event with Tony and Fiji unleash the power within for some reason. I think, you know, when I pick a mentor, I go deep baby by guy, I find someone that I like, and I then I work with them and I consume all those stuff, I die, you die and go to all of their events. I try to learn and emulate everything that I can from them.
I was talking to Tony at this event, and I thought that the woman I was with again needed to change now this The reason our relationship isn’t better reason a better The reason that we don’t get along better is that she doesn’t appreciate me or whatever the whatever my story was. I went there to fix her and she went to this event to fix me as my girlfriend at the time.
And when I was talking to Tony I realized basically pointed out to me that the problem was not the one that the person I was looking at the issues that I had were the ones looking back at me in the mirror and it was the most deep personal development training and challenge I’d ever gone through was an event I went to go to to hopefully fix the I was with.
So, I think this is a really key components: Who do you need to become? What is the shit you need to start doing? How do you start any to behaving to believe to change who the you are and stop all the shit, the patterns that are going to sabotage your success? That’s my challenge for you. At least start the journaling part. and then take it on and it did it take a little bit of time for me yet to years but finally hard work paid off and I can’t imagine a better person for me to be with them. The woman I’m with today I think my blessings every day. It’s just amazing.
So that’s all I got for you today I’m going to put the daily quotes in the show notes and if you enjoyed today’s episode, you know, please share it with somebody who you think would value it. I’ve done a horrible job of SEO going and key wording of this podcast and promoting it I’m more like frickin talking to myself. I know I have I have a few people like you that love this show. But I’ve done a horrible job of marketing and so far so that’s going to change here really soon. But please help a brother out give me a thumbs up on iTunes. Share with somebody that you know love and care about.
And I can’t wait to see you tomorrow on other daily dose of greatness quest.
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